What do you want to manifest? That’s the question I ask when I am doing my Radical Manifestation workshop. “A mate,” comes the reply, nine times out of ten.
“No problem,” I say. “It’s the easiest thing in the whole world to manifest.”
“Why? Because there are millions of people out there who are looking for the same thing. The only reason you don’t have it right now is that instead of using the Law of Attraction, you are using the Law of Repulsion. Turn that around and you will have your mate.”
“Turn it around how?”
“Do a Radical Manifestation worksheet. Describe what you want in a mate and Spirit will do the rest.”
Even though I explain exactly how to do a Radical Manifestation worksheet in both my Radical Manifestation book and my new book, Expanding into Love, the worksheet itself is pretty much self-explanatory. It is not rocket science. You can download it in the Free Stuff section in Colin’s Cafe (our membership site).
However, in Expanding into Love, I suggest you follow five important rules if you want any relationship you create to be successful and not a disaster. These are:
Rule #1. Leave a significant amount of time between leaving one relationship and even thinking about creating another.
It takes a lot more time than you think to energetically disengage from the previous relationship, especially if it was deep, long-standing and, in the end, painful.
If you leap into another relationship to soon, you will take all the unresolved issues with you and recreate the same patterns with your new partner.
I would suggest a break of at least one year. Use the time to do the work suggested in Rule #2 and learn to be alone. Find out who you are separate from another person.
Women beware! Men nearly always break this rule. They can’t stand to be without a mate. Many replace a relationship even before they are out of the old one.
Rule #2. Do the forgiveness work on your previous partner.
And I don’t mean just doing one Radical Forgiveness worksheet. Keep doing them until there is no energy left in the situation: No anger; no resentment; no jealousy; no pain; no regrets.
If you want your new relationship to work, it is essential that you release all those energies. Hence the need to follow Rule #1.
Rule #3. Be clear about what you want and don’t want in a relationship.
Get very clear on your values and boundaries and resolve never to compromise on them.
Think long and hard about what you feel are the most important things you will want in your relationship, and what you will not tolerate. Make a list.
Don’t settle. If you do, you will regret it, I promise you.
Rule #4. Scope your partner out before committing. Be a detective.
I can’t tell you how many times I have heard of someone finding their ‘soul-mate’ – the perfect partner who is loving and caring – and then after six to twelve months, the new person turns into a tyrant.
The reason why this happens is explored in depth in my book, and you need to understand this dynamic if you are going to avoid being badly hurt.
I also share with you in that book a rather more sneaky way to check up on a prospective partner who has been married before. It is risky, but it’s probably worth it.
Rule #5. Don’t Imagine You Can Change Him/Her.
Women are mostly the ones who bring suffering upon themselves by not following this rule.
It is very common that women say to themselves, “If I love him enough, he will change and become what I want him to be.”
It never happens, so please abandon this disastrous strategy. It causes a lot of pain.
All this and more is explained in great depth in Expanding into Love. The opportunity to get a copy inscribed and signed by me if you pre-order it now, plus two months free membership in the Radical Living Online Community, is still available. Click here for more details and to pre-order the book.
I really enjoyed reading five rules… luckily, most of them Infollowed and am very aware of… but Inthinks I still compromise too often.
I have tonobserve myself closer…
Thanks for bringing that point up.
What I begin to enjoy though, since I work with your books… I no linger condone myself for it.
Now I realize my imperfection, laugh and see it as a wonderful
art of my personality… some things suddenly change fast…
The perfection in the imperfection!
Thank you, Colin, for this great insight! I promise to keep doing those Radical Forgiveness Worksheets until the energy is no longer there! I had been wondering what to do as I still have some residual pain and resentment even though manifesting daily to release all these things. So back to work I go on releasing! Thanks for the reminder. Excited to read your new book.
Writing down clearly what you want in a relationship is definitely an important step in manifestation.
Dear Colin,
I have had an interesting experience which I would like to share with you.
You have probably heard this before but it’s new to me.
I was having a lot of trouble with the new man in my life, Con.
I deeply loved him and I was terrible hurt when he criticized me in any form.
Both the love and the hurt was disproportional to what was going on between us.
So I did Radical Forgiveness on the present and my past male relationships especially with my father.
Nothing seemed to work to give me the shift I usually have when completed the RF process.
Then I remembered a past life regression I had back in the 1992.
I lived during the Middle Ages/ the Renaissance Period.
I lost my wife and child in a house fire. And I was racked with guilt and shame that I couldn’t save them. (Con was my wife in that life)
I blamed myself and hated myself that whole life and died in a jail.
I decided to do Radical Self Forgiveness for that fire.
I could hardly believe the sound that came from deep within me – wailing.
I got the shift – the miracle!
It is such a wonderful thing to be able to see Con as he is today – not through the filters of a past life.
I told him about my experience and he concurred – it did feel to him that I was chasing ghosts – as he put it.
And I said Yes – I just didn’t know is was hundred of years ago!!
We are together in the NOW.
and loving the time we have together.
I cannot begin to tell you how much Radical Forgiveness has help me.
Not only to heal but also gave me a new view of life and living.
Thank you so much.
Blessing to you and yours,
BeAnne
Dear Colin, some things related to my health are an interference that need to quickly be resolved prior to engaging in a serious relationship – which worksheet do you recommend for resolving these health issues FIRST before doing the Radical Manifestation Worksheet – Thank you so much in advance for your guidance and reply. Christine
Hi Christine,
In almost all cases the Radical Forgiveness worksheet is the one to start with to clear old energies. Even to do one on your own body would be good if it is letting you down in some way. You can do the Radical Manifestation worksheet at the same time if you wish.
Blessings,
Colin
I apologize, but I just submitted a comment and was wondering if you received it about what worksheet is best to do to resolve some health issues prior to venturing out for a new relationship. Thank you in advance Colin! Christina
Hi Colin, thank you for everything your doing to help us all. I love your work. I have a question. I read in one of you rules that you cannot change anybody. I get very confused with this idea becuase I have read about the law of attraction and many say that if you focus only on the good qualities of someone they will change their bad behavior and be good to you. Whenever you find yourself in a bad relationship, does it mean that you have attracted someone that was unavailable or do you attract a neutral person and turned them into unavailables based on your limiting beliefs. could you please give me some clarity on this? thank you
We attract people into our lives to mirror something in us that we need to heal. If someone is exhibiting ‘bad’ behavior (our judgement), we can honor that part of us that is capable of doing the same. Often, when we accept that part of our shadow, the other person drops the behavior. Not always, and doing our own work should never have the motive of changing someone else.