Isn’t interesting how those who would deign to feel it a matter of conscience and duty to legislate personal matters like gay marriage, contraception, abortion and the like on behalf of everyone else, suddenly have a dramatic change of heart when it affects them personally. Case in point, Republican Senator Rob Portman has long been an outspoken opponent of gay marriage. He has consistently voted against every proposal to legalize it and supported the idea of a constitutional amendment to ban it.
Like Dick Cheney before him, not exactly a person known for having a soft heart (no pun intended), Portman has suddenly discovered he has a heart. He has realized that it is possible to have compassion for someone who might want to marry a same sex partner. That someone is his own son. Having found empathy with him, Portman announces that he has changed his mind and will from now on support the idea of gay marriage. This only goes to show how shallow and groundless are the convictions of those self-appointed moralists who oppose gay marriage.
What if everyone, especially those in a position of moral leadership, whenever confronted by a moral or ethical question on which they take a hard line position and self-righteously try to force everyone else to comply with, would ask themselves this question: “What if it were my son? What if it were my daughter? Would I be willing to soften my position if it came that close to home for me personally? Would I, like Senator Portman or Dick Cheney, let go of my so-called ‘principles’ under such conditions? Would I then stop being so self-righteous about it? Who am I to tell others how they should live?
This is the gift that Senator Portman and his brave son has given us. If we all had more empathy for others, like us or unlike us, the world would be a much better place. When church leaders and politicians pontificate and tell us how we should live our lives for no better reason than they simply don’t like how we choose to live, even though it harms no one, they are displaying a distinct lack of empathy. They are unable to put themselves in the shoes of the ones they criticize so self-righteously and wish to control. They fail to ask themselves, “What if it were my own 13-year-old daughter who was raped and wanted an abortion? Would I stand by my hard line position and let my daughter life be ruined, just so I could be right?” And what if they were to ask “What would Jesus do?
Yes, we have ethical principles and we need them for guidance on how we behave. But one of those ethical principles is ‘respect for persons.’ It is right up there with freedom, both of which are consistently compromised by the hard right politicians who want to tell us how to live our lives. But respect for persons requires the ability to empathize. Without empathy we can have no such principle. Thank God Senator Portman found some and was willing to share it publicly so everyone could give this some careful thought next time they are in a position to vote on such matters.
Colin
Brilliant article and points Colin. What I love about you is your straight forward, no BS, bottom line messages. I would love to support your work and have you on my brand new radio show in May. I am switching from Blogtalk to another network. I am a fan, your work has touched me and those I have recommended what I call your “lifer” book, Radical Forgiveness. A read for all my clients!
Deborah “Atianne” Wilson
Brilliant bottom line message, no BS. You are so my kinda guy Collin. I consider your book Radical Forgiveness a “Lifer” book for all my clients. I would love to support you and all you do even more by having you on my radio show. I am switching from my long standing BlogTalk show to another network in May and would love to chat with you on air. Thank you for all you do.
Deborah “Atianne” Wilson
The Intuitive Spiritual AND Wealth Coach
Thank you, well said. It is one thing when it is a possibility, another when it is fact in our lives or a loved one lives.
I never have all the information and can’t judge what is right. That goes both ways, but I prefer when people are kinder and more understanding that we don’t know for everyone.
One of the great rights of being a citizen of the US is the right to life, liberty, and the PURSUIT of happiness. No one has the right to legislate us out of that right because of what they believe so long as we do not infringe on the rights of others in doing so.
I commend Senator Portman for having the love and courage to admit a change of heart and to support his son in pursuing his rights over his own preferences. Now, as you say, wouldn’t it be great if we can extend that privilege to others without it having to hit us personally. Our government is there, afterall, to uphold our rights and to represent us, not to lead us or legislate us according to their preferences. They are our servants, not our masters.
This is all so true. Who are we, or who am I, to judge what another one does? They have their own reasons and driving forces…..of which we are not privy to.
Being shallow and groundless comes from context we inherit. We are OWNED by context, most of them false, until we are forced to consider other contexts, as was Portman.
Can anything happen to God that wasn’t planned by God? I certainly do not condone rape, but did she not create her life to show up the way it does…and was not that terrible incident meant to teach something? It was God in form that was raped by God in form. Was not that pregnancy meant to be…as part of spiritual learning and growth?
My understanding is that abortion is not a “sin”, but it is the killing of a living, feeling child (God, in form) and is excruciatingly painful, the ultimate betrayal of life. Maybe the child (the creator of his life) is meant to experience such a painful death…as his mother is meant to experience pregnancy from rape. ARE THERE ANY VICTIMS?
I have given you different things to consider.
Portman is a politician. That’s what politicians do, pander to the voters.
I agree that softening through empathy has merit and may bring one more to the precious outcome of unconditional love. Then may guidance of the hearts truth direct ones thoughts and deeds. Yet I note a stand taken against one side or the other, whether it be gay vs straight or left vs right. This introduces the dualistic right vs wrong which is a lower consciousness vibration, duality, than that of the heart and Spirit. From this lower vibration one is called to label and choose and take sides. Empathy itself has the downside of validation of that which is empathized with, thus making it real, rather than what it is, the creation of the ego mind which created it in the first place to separate and create the duality of right vs wrong. Using the Hawkins Map of Consciousness we find that as Colin teaches, forgiveness has inherent power at the level of life altering love, as does grace, while compassion and empathy remain steps toward these states of higher consciousness. It is that power of forgiveness that is the spirit which empowers Colin’s work and my outcomes as I practice them. Funny I think how politicians and the like must separate themselves from their humanity to be political, which is fundamentally dualism to the highest bidder. What a world!
I agree with you in the matter “that nobody is harmed”. Here in Germany we have the discussion if gay couples
should be allowed to adopt children. Here I think that those children are harmed. I know some people
who have been raised by women only and are kind of strange because they never encountered love between man
and woman. Even more so is it with 2 men, since a mother is even more important to any child than a man.
What do you think?
Heidi
I’ve always wondered about that myself but two days ago I heard on the radio that some very credible studies have been done over time that have just been published showing that there is no downside at all, that the children studied showed no signs of having any problems different to other kids. On every count, emotional, developmental and intellectual they were simply just like all other kids. I was glad to hear it so it takes that argument off the table.
Colin
What’s far more damaging to children is to not have the legal protection that all other children have. We have two children and were fortunate to adopt together in California, so in the eyes of the federal government, and many state governments, our children have two parents… which means if one of us dies while they are minors, the children have the right to social security benefits and protections. It also means that no one can come and rip the children away from the surviving parent, which happens all too often in the U.S. if the surviving parent is not allowed to be a legal parent in that state. In many states, LGBT families have to jump through a lot of expensive legal loopholes just to ensure their children have the minimum security of being able to stay in their home with their surviving parent in the event of the death of their only legal parent. The issue of legal marriage is about more than just the adults, it’s about protecting their children as well.
I suppose we must be thankful that some of these would-be guardians of our souls are capable of changing their hard line stance on what we term moral issues. Imagine the grim picture of the son or daughter being rejected by the parent/s to suffer without support or empathy!
Totally agree!!
Empathy is like a conscience. Either you were born with it or you will never be able to have it. This is the result of many studies of what is called “Alpha” personalities. There is no “Alpha” personality there is sociopaths that have no conscience nor empathy. In my life I have a family of sociopaths. The key to recognizing a sociopath is they can never admit they are wrong or if they do it causes them great pain. Empathy and having a conscience cannot be learned nor taught. This politician did not suddenly get empathy nor a conscience. He is a politician that is an “Alpha” personality that just changed what he said because it would appear very wrong to say things against a family member. He never apologized and that is the key. He needs to apologize publicly which I do not know for fact he did not do but knowing his personality type I can safely say he never apologized. Just my personal family experience and life experience for 56 years of being alive. People that can never admit they are wrong are very dangerous indeed. They will leave you a bankrupt person with a broken neck and blame you for your bankruptcy and blame you for your broken neck. Personal experience. They also seeth with hate and it is very well hidden. You never know what these people actually think because they are great deceivers. 10% of the human population is like this and they generally become politicians and people of positions of power likePastors, priests, police and judges. It will be about 100,000 years before the human race catches up with people like Mother Teresea or Buddha or Jesus. That is why these types of people stand out so much because empathy is so rare in our society. It is also not honored as it should be. Just my life’s experiences and I do not apologize for them because you see I have learned to fight against these type of people irregardless of the personal cost to me or the outcome. Otherwise they keep their control and oppression over the rest of us using institutional prejudicial oppression which causes the majority of people to fear and get in line. Very scary to admit but even scarier not to notice. In a way I feel bad for these people because they really do not know what they do. They consider everything they do as right. Which leaves people with empathy in emotional pain and confusion that these people are incapable of walking in another’s shoes. There is more much more but really unless it is 100,000 years in the future and we have genetically changed it is pointless to discuss allthis.
I did not read the entire article before I left a message before. Now I did and I discovered you have a prejudice towards right winged politicians. Yeah they want to destroy some of our rights but so do left wing Democrats. I live in Florida where at anytime you can come across very dangerous wildlife in your yard irregardless of where you live. Also Florida is totally lawless. Victims of crime here are considered “trouble makers” by local law enforcement. You cannot get any help from the state because they will not come in unless the local police ask them to. So I have been stalked for 11 years and a deputy came to my door and told me “Even if you get them on video doing anything to you, your family or your property we will do nothing”. This was after the person was convicted and I had an Injunction Against the Threat of Repeat Violence against them. So here in Florida the average citizen absolutely needs the right to carry a concealed firearm with multiple rounds. This is something the left wing democrats want to take away from us and leave us defenseless so the mentally ill stalkers in many states can assault us and try to kill us. Which in my case has occurred many, many times. To numerous to count. Because they local Sheriff Office protects their right to do this. This may sound crazy and delusional to you but I have all this documented except for the corrupt cop coming to my door. You see both Republicans and Democrats are wrong. The republicans for stealing our money and freedoms of choice and freedom of pursuit of happiness. The Democrats for the right to defend ourselves from our enemies even if those enemies are the government. There needs to be a middle ground where we can defend ourselves and enjoy true freedom from all kinds of oppression. But when men like you spew there is no empathy then show little understanding yourself how will this ever happen? Just because someone has a title like DR. or Judge does not mean this person is not a sociopath without true understanding with their own prejudices. You ALL need to back off and introspect what you are thinking and saying. I am definitely right about this. You are just spewing indoctrinated thoughts that you are not even aware you are saying. To a person like me looking from the outside you are as wrong as those “Right Wing Republicans” you profess are wrong. This really sucks. That is my view point and it is not indoctrinated rantings. It is what most people you probably look down on think. So in a way you are incapable of empathy just by the words you wrote. How can you object to the onus of my words? And you are supposed to know better. Where were you educated Harvard? Columbia? Sounds like it. I went to Harvard Extension University and found the Professors very slanted in their view points and I often wondered how they could be considered “educated”?
I am only approving this tyrade because you are entitled to your opinions but I don’t see why you have to make it an attack on me rather than a personal point of view. So please don’t bother replying to this for I have no interest in sparring with you and I will not approve it.
Well put and a good reminder to stay out of other people’s “pies” in our everyday lives. I might not agree personally with some issues, but that doesn’t mean people shouldn’t have the right to decide for themselves not the government.
Yes, yes, yes to everything you say here. Plus, it is a fact that people fear what they don’t know. Many people “believe” they don’t know anyone gay (ha- fat chance). Once you can put a face on what you fear – then love, which is its opposite, can begin to sprout. You can’t hold fear (or hatreed) of a category called gay people and then find out the son who you love is one of them.
Summer Camps in the Middle East are bringing together Arab and Israeli kids who start making friends with each other. When they grow up, how likely are they going to be to take up arms against the other side when their friends could be wearing the opposite uniform?
In the end, of course, we all need to come to see one another as sisters and brothers and put our swords down. Radical Forgiveness and other such groups are helping lead us toward that goal.
“It’s not real until it happens to you” . Enough said.. Shouldn’t be, but normally is…
This is wonderful. What a BEAUTIFUL way that SPIRIT helped him understand and make that connection. To just be in the heart and out of societal programming.
I often ask myself, and think it would be good if others asked themselves, a question that you asked in this article. “What would Jesus do?”
I’m an agnostic, but sometimes I think I am more concerned about following Jesus’ teachings than many people who call themselves “Christians”.