10 Ways to Avoid Feelings

Last week I emphasized the need for us to feel our feelings and not deny them.  This week I am outlining 10 strategies we use to avoid feelings and how to recognize them.  

But initially at least, we need to recognize that such mechanisms protect us from emotional overwhelm and in that sense some of them are necessary.  It is only when we use them habitually to dull our feelings and use them long term that they become a problem.  Play the video and see if you recognize which ones out of these ten strategies you use most.

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28 Responses to 10 Ways to Avoid Feelings

  1. Anna Lyra says:

    Than you for this excellent video.

  2. Dorotea Petersen says:

    Thank you for this week`s lecture.I listened to it several times.Iam looking forward to next week. I also would like to hear more about your experiences in England and how you deal with them emotionally.Your lecture last week,when you spoke about the diappointing response in England, touched my heart .You were so honest about it.
    Love D.P.

    • joseph ravick says:

      Thank you Colin. As a fellow change-helper, i often have trouble helping my clients overcome tendencies to avoid, deny, and suppress their emotional and psychic pains. I have forwarded your video to several, knowing that if they ingest your wise words and strategies in their best interests, they will have taken their first step towards physical and emotional health.
      Thank you. joseph ravick

  3. Michelle says:

    Found the video really interesting.

  4. Linda Lee says:

    Great video and great insights. thanks for sharing. looking forward to the next one.

  5. Mary Simpson says:

    Brilliant as always Colin. Keep spreading your light!

  6. Amelie says:

    Great video! Loved the armour reference, i had never thought about that but it makes a lot of sense.

  7. Bernadine says:

    Very interesting and got me waiting impatiently for next weeks topic….anger.
    Thank you!

  8. Susan says:

    What a good video! I’ve been receiving your emails for some time but have not seen any of your videos. I’m definitely a fan! Thank you!

  9. Ilse says:

    This is extremely helpful to have it all pulled together in one sequence for me as a lay-person — I also deeply appreciated your comments that went with each category — your work is thoroughly nurturing and healing — deep thanks, Ilse.

  10. Curtis Neimeister says:

    A good introduction to a “solution strategy”

  11. Marie says:

    Thank you.

  12. Rosa says:

    Thank you Colin for instructive video!

  13. joyce miles says:

    Thought I knew myself until I listened to this video. I have and still use # 6 The spiritual bypass ot cover some of my hidden pain. Thank you Colin for bringing this to light, it will make me more aware to what I am doing.

  14. Jessica says:

    Heavy sigh!
    Feeling the feelings. Sounds easy, but for someone who’s suppressed them most of her life it’s not. It’s that we fall back into that unsafe feelings we felt as a child. Those feelings of rejection, shame, and guilt creep back in before we know it.
    The co-dependence part is a good-en. I call myself the poster child for co-depedency. My entire life was wrapped around, not only suppression, but this one. Every single relationship in my life was based largely on co-dependency. Unravelling this has been a very liberating process.
    My training to be a RF Living Coach has been nothing but intensive self therapy and emotional rehabilitation. It’s worth it!
    Thank you Radical Forgiveness, and thank you Colin!

  15. Debbie says:


    Thanks so much, you are a gift.

  16. Raywyn M. Erickson says:

    Excellent Colin … since I help people to understand their feelings and emotions etc., especially in Recovery/Transition Houses – I will refer them to your link so they can hear it for themselves from another source which can help them make sense of it all.
    Well said … keep up the good work!!
    Blessings, Raywyn M.E. “Kiwi” in Canada

  17. Kathleen says:

    Thanks for this video/info! Timing is perfect and a great reminder to me to stay present and own my stuff!

  18. Nancy says:

    Brilliant, cuts right to the chase. Will be taking this to heart and sharing it was a group on Sunday. I always credit your work and point seekers to your site, so much powerful material here. I thank you DAILY for the basic RF worksheets. They are changing my life.

    • Nancy says:

      Update: I shared the 10 Ways in a Sunday talk at Unity, they were all so familiar, there was much laughter as friends looked at their own behavior and resistance. I based the meditation on the RF worksheet which was very well received. Worksheets were available by the exit with a page referencing your work which all flew out the door.
      One woman began crying during the meditation and stayed after church with a few others, we went through the worksheet, step by step, for practice and the lady was surprised to suddenly collapse her emotion and accept the perfection. Many insightful moments.

  19. Thanks for your great offerings to us all!
    You give from the heart.

  20. LaVoice Kallestad says:

    Great Information. Thought provoking.

  21. Emer says:

    Thsnks Colin, clarity!

  22. Karen says:

    Thank you for this…so much better to see a video and listen to you than trying to absorb from another book (not that I don’t love self help books)…very thought provoking. Looking forward to the next one!

  23. Helen says:

    Hello Colin its great to watch these videos. I’m glad too that I once met you in person. And thank you soooo much for the reminder of these strategies.
    I love the water in the background and the birds as well!

  24. Diane says:

    Excellent video, Colin! Thank you for making this so clear!

  25. Ulf Weigel says:

    I just love your statements about “spirituality ” and the smart ideas for those who work as “light-workers” – helping others . I was able to find some of my own traps and vicious childhood circles. Thanks

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