By that I mean, if you die while still holding resentment or other forms of non-forgiveness, you will most certainly take it with you and be burdened by it. You will have to deal with that energy over there, and there’s no guarantee it will be any easier. Very likely it will be much harder. You won’t be free of it and neither will the person or people you left behind. An energetic chord between you and them will remain and will keep you from moving on to the next level. They will remain stuck in their story and regretful of the lost opportunities for a possible reconciliation. Once you pass on, that all becomes unfinished business for them and that makes it even more toxic that it was before. Obviously it’s the same for you if you are the one left behind.
Either way, it is obvious that you stand to gain a great deal by doing all the forgiveness work you can on those who are now dead and those who are still alive, while you still have breath in your body and the mental capacity to remember who it is you need to forgive and why. It’s almost like making a will.
If you have someone in mind who died without you having healed an outstanding feud, disagreement, wound or whatever else might have got in the way of the love between you, you owe it to yourself and to that departed person, to do the Radical Forgiveness process around that issue immediately. If they are still alive, do it now too.
I doubt there is a person on the planet that does not have some reason to forgive their parents, and this is no less true if the parents are already dead. It’s simply in the nature of things that the parent/child relationship is characterized by conflict, not to mention the fact that we chose our parents for the very fact that they would give us our first and most intense experience of separation. If they are dead, do a worksheet on them. If they are still alive, do a worksheet on them. Clear as much remaining energy as you can before you or they die.
A great resource we have to bring you peace with your parents is the 21 Day Online Program “Breaking Free.” This will address how childhood wounds become repeating patterns in our lives, and how you can break free – and help your parents break free, even if they have already passed – from your old relationship paradigm. Other programs are also available to help you forgive other family members, partners, and even co-workers.
Another reason to forgive everyone and clear up any remaining issues with family and friends before you die is that it will give you a better chance of dying peacefully and without pain. I first observed this phenomenon when working with cancer patients in the 90’s. They are notorious for holding on to resentment and grief and seldom ever forgive on their own. The tension this pent up energy creates in the body is enormous. It stands to reason that if the body is tight and full of long-held emotional energy, death is likely to be painful and less than peaceful, if holding on tight is the norm. I am quite sure that this holds true for anyone who dies while still refusing to release their negative emotions and beliefs. If you hold onto that stuff your body will hold on too, and death will not come easy.
So for your own sake and for those who are important to you, do the forgiveness work now, before the grim reaper comes knocking. Like I said, it’s no different than making a will. You are simply ensuring a safe passage to the other side, either for them or for you. It’s all the same.