Radical Forgiveness is the unconditional acceptance of what is, as is; because that is exactly how it is meant to be. When we apply this to ourselves, we can say that Radical Self-Forgiveness is accepting the consequences of being ourselves. We are who we are because that’s exactly who we are meant to be.
That said, most people would agree that finding love, forgiveness and acceptance for others is much easier than finding it for ourselves. Our own self-hatred is so deep that it is very hard for us to rise above it and touch the essence of who we really are, which is Love.
Some say our self-hatred is rooted in our shame for having chosen to separate from God against His will… the original sin. I don’t believe this at all. On the contrary, I would venture to say that our self-hatred is the result of organized religion having drummed into us that we are sinners and in need of being saved by someone or something else. How dis-empowering and shaming is that? No wonder we hate ourselves.
The result is that we have become deeply divided within and have split ourselves into multiple personalities or archetypes. Herein lies the problem with self-forgiveness. We are not a singular self but a whole community of selves, all of whom have different ideas about who we are and how we should show up in the world. Included among this rabble are myriad inner voices: judge, lover, clown, parent, child, professor, prostitute, critic, saboteur, and probably several more unique to each person.
It’s not surprising we have trouble accepting ourselves just the way we are, with such an incredible cast of characters inside our heads. They are a noisy, argumentative lot, filling us with conflicting stories about ourselves. It all gets to be very confusing.
The two that create the most problems are the inner judge and the inner critic. The inner parent can be troublesome too, so make that three. Unfortunately they are the noisiest members of the community, so it is often their voices we hear in our heads telling us we are not OK and that we have to be different to the way we are. When we appeal to them for self-forgiveness, they always say NO! They love to make us feel guilty and unloved.
Knowing what we know about Radical Forgiveness and the Tipping Method, the solution is obvious: We do an end run around our collective human self (Our Ego), and make a direct appeal for self-forgiveness to the one true self that recognizes the perfection of who we are just the way we are – our Higher Self. This is the part of us that loves us unconditionally just the way we are. As soon as we connect to this only true part of us, the rabble inside our head goes quiet. They realize they have no power left over us now. Forgiveness is always given by your Higher Self, because it knows the Truth.
In the same way Radical Forgiveness tools give us a way to get direct access to our Higher Self, the Radical Self-Forgiveness/Self-Acceptance worksheet is available to circumvent the self-loathing that nasty rabble keeps chattering about to your ego. You may download a copy of it for free in Colin’s Cafe. It is in the Free Stuff section.
The Online Self-Forgiveness/Self-Acceptance program is also available to people who want to dig a little deeper and really get to the heart of the matter.
Regardless of which tool you choose, it’s time to give that quarrelsome rabble the boot and start truly loving yourself.