If your soul’s purpose in being on this earth plane is to experience separation in a wide variety of forms in order to really get what Oneness is, where better to begin than with yourself? How about you first create a strong sense of self, and then take a hammer and chisel to it and begin chipping off little bits of it to trade away until there is not much left.
Perfect. There are always others willing to trade with you. It is very easy to trade your self-respect for success, give away your integrity in return for money, suspend your authenticity in return for being accepted and so on. If you can’t find a trading partner, you can simply do the deal with yourself.
You can swap your sense of adventure for safety. You can suspend your creativity in favor of conformity. You can agree to give up your exciting dream in favor of security and routine. You can protect yourself from hurt by avoiding relationships. You can make a habit of saying, “Yes,” even when you really mean “No.” There’s plenty more.
You can disown and bury parts of yourself in order to conform to the demands of others, like your passionate self, your sexual self, your creative self, your feeling self, your enthusiastic self, your trusting self and so on.
There’s not much left, is there? By now you could be a mere shadow of your original self. Nice job. Your soul is very grateful that you are giving it this experience of separation.
But it’s over now. Enough already! Mission accomplished. No need to keep the separation game going any longer. It’s time to go out and retrieve all those parts of yourself and build back up to become whole again. But how?
I have to say that this is perhaps the biggest Radical Self-Forgiveness project you can ever do for yourself, and it might take a while. The payoff, however, will be in equal proportion to the effort.
The first thing to do: Make a detailed list of all aspects of yourself you have traded away, given away, lost, buried or discarded. Note the dreams you had but gave up or never fulfilled because you had to do something else that was safer, or you felt you needed to support someone else’s dream first.
Allow yourself to feel the disappointment and regret. Be angry with yourself if need be. Give yourself permission to feel anger and resentment towards those you feel made you give up parts of yourself. Do a Radical Forgiveness worksheet on each one of them until you get to the point where you can see they were playing their part in your soul’s journey, too.
At the same time, do lots of Radical Self-Forgiveness worksheets or the 13 Steps to Radical Self-Forgiveness on yourself for creating your own dismemberment bit by bit over the years. Eventually you will come to feel Love for yourself for doing this in order to provide the experiences your soul needed. It was all part of the divine plan, remember? (Both of these worksheets are available in the Free Stuff section of Colin’s Cafe.)
Having reframed this whole experience, you will now be able to begin the process of taking back all that you gave away. Re-ignite your passion. Be creative again. Live your dream. Put yourself first for a change. Find your purpose and go for it. Become whole again and find your power.