Valentine’s Day Scenarios

eil webina1rMen, assuming you said all the right things at the Thanksgiving dinner table, gave the right kind of Christmas gift to your partner this year, and made the right noises about keeping your New Year’s resolutions, you did good.

But don’t breathe too easily yet. The far bigger danger point is yet to come. Valentine’s Day. That’s the big one! Forget that and you could be in deep doo-doo for the rest of the year. That one is never forgotten!

Women, what would you say if the man in your life told you he had decided to spend Valentine’s Day weekend with his buddies? With his men’s group to be more precise?

You’d be very upset, naturally. And you would take it personally, of course. Who wouldn’t? It would make you question his love for you and his commitment to the relationship, wouldn’t it? You might even see yourself getting some proof of that by enrolling in my next webinar – Assessing Your Relationship.

That said, what kind of punishment would you feel was appropriate for such an act of abandonment and rejection? What would you exact from him in return as retribution? How would you leverage that situation to get something you really wanted from him that ordinarily he would not agree to?

You get my drift here? There would be a price to be paid, right?

Let’s look at another scenario, though. Suppose you responded (as JoAnn did to me when I pulled this one on her), by saying:

“Of course, I am disappointed, but I know that’s the only weekend that all five of you can get together for your half-yearly weekend get-together, so it’s OK.

“I know how important your men’s group is to you — and to our relationship as well because you need that male energy to balance being around me and other women so much, doing the work that we do. So, yes, I insist that you go. I want you to go.

“And I certainly don’t see it as a rejection of me or my being abandoned. If I felt that, I would be seeing myself as a victim. No. I will be fine on my own or doing something for me. It is not about me. It’s about us having respect for each other’s needs and giving each other freedom.”

Now, which kind of relationship would you rather have? One based on obligation, demand, control and retribution, or one based on freedom, respect and mutual support? It is your choice.

Don’t worry, though. It can still happen even if your partner is resistant to the idea of change. You’ll be amazed. By shifting your own energy through coming to know who you are, what you want and what you will no longer allow, you will begin to move into expansion instead of living in a state of contraction. Your partner will most likely follow suit. If not, well, it might be time to move on.

How to achieve this is what you will learn if you attend the Expanding In Love Workshop either in Atlanta in March, or Truckee, California in April. You will be given the knowledge and tools to heal all your wounds and old stories about being rejected, abused, let down and abandoned. Having released all that old baggage, you can expand into this new way of loving and being loved.

Register NOW for the FREE webinar I am doing February 13th, 8:00 PM – 9:00 PM EST, during which I will take you through a process that will allow you to make a realistic assessment of where things stand with your current or past relationship. Whether you are in a relationship or ready to have a new one, at the end of the webinar you will know what might need to happen next.

In my next blog we might look at the extent to which you risk your relationship when you come into your power and how you handle that risk.



P.S. Register now for my FREE webinar on February 13th, Assessing Your Relationship, just in time for Valentine’s Day!

This entry was posted in Relationships. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Valentine’s Day Scenarios

  1. Vivian says:

    Hello Colin and Thank you for the wonderful work you are doing.

    I bought the Expanding Into Love book this Christmas and I was wondering if you recommend to read it through a particular time period, like the 21-days programs? Is it possible to complete it in 21 days or should I stretch it? What would lbe the ideal?

    Thank you so much!

  2. keren says:

    Hi Collin,

    I don’t know Joann, so I am assuming that she is your partner, ?
    I think that the only reason she can answer you in the way that she did , is that she doesn’t define Valentine’s day as a day to spend with her love, her lover. She sees it as something else. It doesn’t mean that much to her in terms of you. Because if it did, then she is clearly lying to herself and betraying her needs for receiving love from you. So she would be putting her needs away, and pleasing you, by seemingly allowing you to have the ‘freedom’ that you think you want’….. But she is really doing it becasue she is actually trying to hold on to you, by pleasing you , and the power is not balanced between you. That is the truth that I see… :-)
    Do you find it curious, that exactly on the day that is important to her, turns out to be the ONLY day that you and your buddies can get together, only on THAT day ?
    Don’t you find it interesting ? So I would say to look at this very very carefully. Maybe she doesn’t care about Valentines in the Romantic sense of the word, So pick a day that she DOES care about in a romantic sense of the word, and that IS important to her that you show up for her in that way- and make THAT your only day to get together with your friends-and then see how does that play out ?
    So is this really about Valentine’s day ? or meeting each others needs ? or keeping a relationship going while compromising ones own needs ?, or what ?
    Thanks :-)

    • Colin says:

      Hi Kerren,

      Yes, JoAnn is my wife of 23 years. Forgive me, but you know nothing of our relationship. There are all sorts of reasons why it worked out this way about which you know nothing, so I feel it is presumptuous of you to make these comments about JoAnn You might want to look at why you feel it necessary to make all these assumptions. It seems to me that are projecting your own stuff on JoAnn. Is there a part of you that has been wounded in this way, perhaps. Is there someone you need to forgive for making you number two in priority?

      Best wishes,

Comments are closed.