10 Ways to Not Feel Emotional Pain

Over the last several weeks, I’ve been writing about overcoming addiction, perfectionism, past trauma, and anger. I want to share this video, it has, in the past generated a lot of discussion, and I hope it will be a good reminder for you to watch out for the ways we cover up our pain. Which ones reflect your avoidance strategies?

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10 Responses to 10 Ways to Not Feel Emotional Pain

  1. Madeline Johnson says:

    Thank you for your insights; they mirror and validate my own. I question, however, your judgment on the use of antidepressants. They’ve helped me, despite a 25-year healing journey addressing childhood rape and trauma. They allow me to be aware of, express, and manage my feelings without the extremes. They’ve helped me reestablish my working life, develop friendships, and deal successfully with my truculant family. The contrast of the “before” antidepressants with the “after” is dramatic. Would you take medications away from a person whose body had been badly damaged in a traffic accident, and will be forever altered?

    • Colin says:

      Hi Madelaine,

      Absolutely not. I fully understand the need for medications to help with severe depression. I’m very glad they have helped you live a good life while dealing with the pain of the abuse. However, I have seen over and over again how Radical Forgiveness has in some people at least, reduced the need for continued use of the drugs once the core pain has been addressed.

  2. Sandra Nolting says:

    You painted the perfect picture of what many of us do or have done in our lives.

  3. susan cummings says:

    Thanks Collin;

    I find these webcasts to be a great resource and refresher. Would it be possible to round out this list by suggesting how we address these mechanisms when they become default positions?

    • Barbara says:

      Great video, thanks Colin.
      I’d add escapism (going mentally to the imaginative world where things flow and life is great) as another way of escaping emotional pain.And while it’s very easy and alluring to escape and stay into this imaginary world and experience short term relief from the pain, it also keeps us stuck where we are.

      I would be very interested to hear from you about different approaches how to come to terms with emotional pain. In other words, befriend it and not to fight with it. Awareness is the first step, what I’d like to know is what actions/strategies you would recommend.

      Thanks Colin, you do amazing job and I’m very grateful for it.

      Blessings to you.

  4. Katelizt says:

    Hi, Madeline, I agree with you, there are absolutely folks out there who use anti-depressants appropriately and for whom they are literally life-savers. I think Colin is talking more about the sky-rocketing use of anti-depressants among people who don’t have clinical depression. For some, anti-depressants have replaced alcohol or drugs as a more acceptable way to mask their emotional pain and avoid healing it. That, to me, is the difference. My son, who has some mental health challenges, was on anti-depressants briefly at a very young age (7) because he was having suicidal ideation. It put him in a safe space to work with a therapist and deal with some issues, so I agree, anti-depressants are not always a negative, but they have to be used appropriately in conjunction with working on why the depression is there in the first place, with the goal of tapering off them if that’s appropriate. They are to treat the person badly damaged in a traffic accident, to use your analogy, not for the person with a few scratches.

  5. Alex says:

    Thank you, Colin.

    You speak so beautifully and honestly about these issues. You have helped me transform my life. I am ever grateful that I found you and your wisdom. I love that you mange to bring the mechanics of the mind into the relevence of the heart and thoughts. I have a better sense of why I do what I do because of you. Very often your books will lead me the other books that open another deminsion of learning for me. You are invaluable to my life and growth.

    I am eagerly awaiting next week’s video.

    Thank you for giving of yourself so the world can heal and transform.

  6. Dear Colin;
    Your generosity giving us your knowledge on how to avoid emotional pain is very informative.
    I do feel that you give so much of yourself, along with Jo-Ann; in order to help us all cope much better with life.
    I have several of your books and CD’s and appreciate you both.
    Margaret Taylor

  7. Thank you Colin for keeping us all well informed on what we can all be aware off in ourselves and others. I love hearing and reading all your principals aligned with Radical forgiveness and am always thirsty for more to keep living and breathing this work. You have changed my life and in turn I feel blessed that I can help, through your tools, to help others make amazing changes in their lives.

  8. Joyce says:

    I’m trying to heal my broken and troubled soul. Troubled which means I rarely appreciate my current lifetime and I don’t want to carry my negative thoughts and emotions through my soul’s evolution. I’m on being aware stage right now- all your input helps! Thank you.

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