Colin’s Hot Topics for Radical Living

by Colin Tipping

The more technology shrinks and connects our world, the more we are confronted with challenges that we have to deal with, almost on a daily basis. As I watch it all unfold, I will be inspired from time to time, to focus attention on and share with you how my Radical Living Strategies can help all of us meet our challenges with greater ease and compassion. My hope is that these offerings give you the insight you need to create the peaceful, fulfilling life you desire.

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The 3 Forms of Intelligence

3 Different Type of IntelligenceThe 3 Forms of Intelligence IQ; EQ; SQ

Which one of these three do you think is most important? Mental Intelligence; Emotional Intelligence, or Spiritual Intelligence? I’ll give you the answer at the end of this blog:

I bet you know your IQ, don’t you? If not you ought to. That is unless you’re like me and really don’t want to know in case it is a lot lower than you would like to think.

In England, when I was just a boy we all sat what was known as the 11+ exam. This was done to sort out which pupils would go on to the grammar schools to get a classical education or go to the less prestigious ‘secondary modern’ school where one was prepared for the job market. Since I failed my 11+, I made up my mind then and there that I would forever avoid taking intelligence tests and have, so far, succeeded in doing so. I still don’t know.

IQ is a measure of one’s mental intelligence. It covers all cognitive activity of the rational mind – thoughts, ideas, concepts, paradigms, and theories. It has enabled us to go to the moon and back, develop amazing medical procedures to cure disease and to develop sophisticated models of the world through science and mathematics, among a million other wonderful achievements that have benefited mankind. I used it to write my book about Radical Forgiveness and develop my theory around it, but it doesn’t do Radical Forgiveness. For that, we need our Spiritual Intelligence.

Even if you do know your IQ, I bet you have no idea what your EQ is, do you? EQ is your emotional intelligence. Is there even a way to measure it? Emotional intelligence is the intelligence of the heart.

Our Emotional Intelligence guides our emotional responses to life, whether fear-driven, love-driven, guilt driven, pleasure driven, etc. It tells us when we are in denial, lying and out of integrity. It enables us to relate to each other at the heart level with compassion, empathy, tolerance, humility, forgiveness, etc. Without emotional intelligence, we would either be like robots – machines that can think but can’t feel, or sociopaths unable to control our emotions. Because people are taught to value Mental Intelligence more and to deny their feelings, Emotional Intelligence is quite underdeveloped in humans.

In spite of this, our lives are driven far more by unconscious emotional responses than by rational thought. We allow our emotions to override our thoughts. That leads to the formation of mental structures like bigotry, prejudice, unreasonable attitudes, inflexibility of mind, false beliefs, denial, and so on. We often believe what we want to believe; not what makes sense.

Our Spiritual Intelligence is the intelligence of the Soul. It is the most subtle of the three and operates below our level of awareness. It knows the truth of who we are, and it connects us to the world of Spirit and Universal Intelligence (God). Our body is the antennae for our Spiritual Intelligence. Our Spiritual Intelligence guides us on our spiritual journey, always moving us in the direction of growth and healing. It is our internal spiritual compass. It keeps us on track with our Divine Plan.

It finds its outer expression in our everyday lives as spiritual practice, the search for meaning beyond this reality, contemplation and meditation, prayer, etc. It is not bound by time and space. It comes into play when we ask for help and open up to receiving help from the spiritual realm. Religious dogma hardly qualifies since that is mostly mental.

The tools and processes of Radical Forgiveness provide a perfect way to ask, even if we are skeptical about the whole idea. Without Spiritual Intelligence, Radical Forgiveness would not be achieved for it is that faculty we call upon the most when we do the Radical Forgiveness work.

The tools depend utterly on our connecting with our Spiritual Intelligence. That’s why we need to use the tools. If we don’t use them, we default to trying to do it in our heads using Mental Intelligence instead, and that doesn’t work. Mental Intelligence is useless for spiritual work. It is not designed for that.

Now let me address the question I asked at the beginning. Which of the three is most important? The answer is none of them. Just as we say that mind, body, and spirit are integrated as a whole, and no one is more special than the other, the truth is that all three forms of intelligence are equally important and need to be given equal standing.

The problem arises when we imagine that one is more important than the other. Unfortunately, for at least the last 300 years or so, Mental Intelligence has been elevated so far above the other two, in fact almost to the exclusion of them, that we have become terribly out of balance. This probably accounts for many of our current world problems. Descartes relegated the soul to being the pineal gland and scoffed at the idea that the heart has its own brain, which science now proves it has.

On the other hand, if we allow our emotions to constantly over-ride our thoughts, this leads to the formation of mental structures like bigotry, prejudice, unreasonable attitudes, inflexibility of mind, false beliefs, denial, and so on. Then we start to believe what we want to believe, not what makes sense.

Then again, if we allow ourselves to become overly spiritual to the point where we are out of body most of the time and forever needing to consult our guides, psychics, astrologers, etc., constantly meditating as a way to avoid being in the world, we will be just as out of balance. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. To live it fully, we must let it be an in-body experience, not an out-of-body experience. If we deny the body, we shut off our access to our feelings. That makes no sense when you consider that we came here to experience life as an emotional experience. That is precisely why we have a body. So be in the world though not of it.

Posted in Mind-Body-Spirit, Uncategorized | 8 Comments

Who the **Bleep!?** Am I?

Who-am-I-150x150Who the **Bleep!?** Am I?

Last weekend, during the Radical Self-Forgiveness/Self-Acceptance Workshop, 20 courageous souls got answers to that question. They also found out what was getting in the way of knowing the truth of who they were.

This is what this workshop was all about. Coming to understand why and for what purpose we have created harsh and painful divisions within ourselves and then, once we’ve awakened, how to heal them once and for all.

Being able to see the real spiritual purpose behind what happened, for which guilt and even shame might be appropriate at the human level, was both enlightening and liberating for them. The spiritual reframe came easily once responsibility was accepted and owned.

They arrived having already done, in preparation for the workshop, our new free online program called Who the **Bleep!?** Am I? *  This proved to be great prep work for a number of exercises in the workshop.

Quite a few of them carried with them the curse of perfectionism. For them to embody the idea that our perfection lies in our imperfection was huge for them. (We have to be imperfect in order to provide opportunities for others to see and then reframe their own imperfections in the mirror we provide.)

They also learned that most of the shame-based beliefs they had about themselves were the result of having been shamed or mistreated by others to the extent that they had come to embody the idea that they were irredeemably bad.   

Since this was the case for almost everyone in this group, we decided to do a Radical Forgiveness Ceremony instead of the Projection Game. (The Ceremony enables us to forgive ourselves and everyone else in our lives in the space of just 2 hours.)

However, there  were several in the group who felt they still needed to heal one or more specific forgiveness issues in order to be free of the negative effects they were having on their lives. They decided there and then to sign up for the Miracles Workshop in May in order to take care of those issues. That’s how committed they had become to their own healing.  

(Note: Since the Miracles Workshop is limited to just 12 people, this means there are only 5 spaces left, so if you are thinking about doing it, you might need to jump in quickly.)  

Fortunately, I was relieved of having to stress the need to do the worksheets.  Dean, one of the participants let it be known in no uncertain manner how he had done hundreds of worksheets in the last couple of years, how he used them to control his anger with his employees, often doing 3 or 4 each day, and how it had changed his life and improved his business. He sold it to the group better than I ever could. I was very grateful for that.

As well as paper worksheets, each participant was given a thumb drive on which was loaded the recording of the webinar I did the week before on the combination RF/RA Worksheet. The recording of the 13 Steps to Radical Self-Forgiveness was also on it, so they had all the tools necessary to maintain the peace and high self-worth gained over the weekend.

It was a great group, and everyone bonded deeply. The level of love and support given and received was wonderful. It was a great experience for me as well as for them. I look forward to doing it again.

* This brand new online program is designed to help you discover who you are, how you show up in the world, what strategies you use to get what you want, how you handle certain life situations and so on. It is available for all to use as a vehicle for gaining self-knowledge, much of which we ordinarily keep hidden from ourselves.  Try it for yourself.  (It is available in the Free Stuff section of Colin’s Cafe. (If you aren’t already a member, registration is required.)

Remember, knowledge is power, but self-knowledge is wisdom.

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Worksheets Rock!

worksheets rockDid you miss the webinar last Thursday? And the replay? Pity. You would have enjoyed it. Along with all the others, it is now in the archives of Colin’s Cafe, our membership site.

The webinar was on how to tap into the full power of the combined Radical Self-Forgiveness/Self-Acceptance Worksheet.  

The response was phenomenal. We could have gone on all night with the Q&A session.

Of the 1,133 initial registrants for the webinar, 258 were on the call live and another 278 listened to the replay. This is much better than average take-up, so the interest in the topic was high.

We also noticed there was a lot of people on the call who were not already on our list. If you were one of them, I would like to welcome you personally. I trust you found it inspiring and helpful.

With this webinar, we have now covered all four of the worksheets associated with the four strategies for Radical Living:

  1. Radical Forgiveness,
  2. Radical Self-Empowerment (includes Self-Forgiveness and Self-Acceptance),
  3. Radical Transformation, and
  4. Radical Manifestation.

These worksheets really do rock. Our success in finding peace in any situation within minutes of doing them, or manifesting what we want in our lives, depends on them. If we try to do the work in our heads, our intellect gets in the way. These worksheets bypass the mind and use our Spiritual Intelligence instead.

As we go through the process of doing a worksheet, we invoke energies of a very subtle nature. The speed with which change comes about through their use proves that subtle energy is infinitely more powerful than egoic force, struggle and effort. I call the process of doing the worksheet secular prayer.

Having proven this Tipping Method worksheet technology to be so effective, we are very keen to share it with as many people as possible, so we make them all available for free from our website. Sign up at http://www.radicalforgiveness.com/free-stuff/.  

For a very small, one-time price, we also have a whole set of online interactive worksheet programs for those who like to do them online and want to have them available for lifetime use.

These worksheets also form the basis for our first level of professional training. Our Radical Living Coaches are trained to instruct people how to use the worksheets associated with the four Radical Living Strategies, and how to apply the strategies to all manner of problems and challenges of everyday life.

We hope you get as much out of them as we do in making them available.

Blessings,

Colin

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Today’s the Day

Register for Free WebinarToday’s the Day

You probably haven’t forgotten that today is the day we are doing the Self-Forgiveness/Self-Acceptance Webinar, but I thought I would send you a quick reminder anyway, just in case.  

I know how easy it is to let it slip by you even on the day, and I don’t want you to have this be another excuse to be mad at yourself.  

I’ve done this myself a number of times, so I have taken to setting the alarm on my iPhone to alert me 5 minutes before the webinar is supposed to start.  Set yours for 7:55 p.m. EST

To enter the webinar, click on this link.

Talk Later

Colin

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Healing Infidelity

Healing Infidelity

Healing-a-relationship-after-infidelity1-300x190St. Valentine and Hallmark Cards have a lot to answer for. So have the authors of children’s books who finish their stories with the line . . .” and they got married and lived happily ever after.”

I was a speaker on a Valentine’s Day Cruise last week. What I observed did not support that idea.

What I saw was a lot of . . .” and then they got married, and became disappointed and disillusioned not too long after.”

Of the 31 people in my seminar, 25 of them had experienced marital breakups. Of those, 11 of them cited infidelity by their partner as the cause.

Most of those who experienced that event in their lives were more than deeply wounded by it.

Naturally, our sympathy nearly always goes to the aggrieved party, because we can easily identify with their pain. We can readily imagine how we would feel if our partner betrayed us in that way.

On the other hand, we have precious little sympathy left for the one who strayed and did the cheating, especially if it repeatedly happened.

However, my contention is that there’s very little difference between being a victim or a perpetrator, in energetic terms. Each is the opposite side of the same coin. The big difference is how much support we get.

Of the 31 people in the room, (14 couples, 17 singles), 8 openly admitted to having had affairs. Of those, there wasn’t one who didn’t feel a lot of guilt and shame about having lied, hurt their partner, and destroyed the trust on which their relationship was built. Their pain was equal to those they betrayed.

They were hurting, too, even if they were trying to hide it. They needed help no less than those who saw themselves as the victims.

We see this all the time in our Radical Self-Forgiveness workshops. A very high proportion of people, both men and women, who come to this workshop, come to work through their guilt and shame for having cheated on their partners and having experienced their own version of hell as a consequence.

They recognize how much pain and chaos they have inflicted, not only on their own family, but on the person they had an affair with, and even on that person’s family. The damage done may have cost them their marriage, their children, their reputation, and so on.

Look what happened to Senator John Edwards after having been outed as a cheater on his wife, Elizabeth, while she was supporting his bid for the White House even while she was battling cancer.

Like we all do when we feel ashamed of what we have done, and whom we think we have become as a result of our actions, he did his best to hide it. Just as he did, we try to justify our own crimes, make excuses, and shift the blame onto others.

But, as much as we try to get ourselves off the hook, there’s no escaping the guilt and shame, not to mention the punishment.

I would have loved to have had him in my Radical Self-Forgiveness workshop and his wife, Elizabeth in my Miracles (Radical Forgiveness) workshop.

I might not have been able to save his career, nor could I have healed her cancer, but I most certainly could have saved both of them a great deal of pain.

Who knows what a difference it might have made to the outcome for them and everyone else involved?

The work Dinny Evans is now doing with prisoners doing life for murder in San Quentin State Prison also proves that it’s only when we bring forgiveness to bear on both the victim and the perpetrator that real healing can begin for either.

Conversely, it’s only when the victim realizes he or she was, at some level, responsible for creating the situation for his or her own spiritual growth, and the perpetrator is able to forgive himself or herself on the same grounds, that real peace can occur for both.

[For more information on how you can be involved in the prison project, click here.]

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Depression Part 2

Depression Part 2

depressedLast week we looked at the idea that depression was some kind of a wake-up call from within, the message being, “Heal your pain or continue suffering.”

I also claimed we have had a lot of success dealing with it through the Radical Forgiveness and Self-Forgiveness technology.

In this follow-up session, I would like to say more about the method we use that gets these results.

The first stage in Radical Forgiveness, as with all other methods, is to find a way to have you talk about what happened, without being judged, and without the listener trying to fix you. It is essential that you feel understood and that your feelings are validated.

The more you talk, the more the tension is released from your mind and body. Being encouraged to focus on body sensations as you talk gets you more in touch with the memories and feelings you experienced at the time, as well as those you experience as you relate your story.

Feeling the feelings is the second stage in the Radical Forgiveness process, and we know this to be a crucial step. You can’t heal what you don’t feel. I know you’ve heard me say that many times, but its true.

However, one of the effects of having used and made permanent one or more of the defense mechanisms, is that you may have numbed out. You’re unable to feel your feelings. It’s not that the feelings are not there. You are simply unable to access them.

Doing something physical helps you discharge pent-up “fight-or-flight” emotional energy—something explosive and fast-moving like beating some cushions with a tennis racquet. (It makes such a good noise!)

When you do this, the body takes over. Your mind gets out of the way and the resistance to feeling the feelings dissolves.

The anger erupts. You’re likely to collapse in tears, shake violently for a few minutes and then go quiet.

Then come the feelings beneath the anger – sadness, grief, hurt and very often, with soldiers having PTSD, survivor’s remorse.

“Why was I spared when my mates were killed? It should have been me.”

Beating the cushion is a technique I use all the time in Radical Forgiveness Therapy. You have to get in touch with the raw emotion behind what happened.

However, I never recommend that you do it on your own without having support from someone who can hold the space for you to go through the anger and the whole process without needing to intervene or being fazed by the process.

It is not always pretty and can be upsetting to someone who is not used to it.

As you probably know, the 3rd stage in the Radical Forgiveness Process is collapsing the story.

This is where we take some of the heat out of the trauma by trying to rationalize it, understand why it happened, what factors might have made it inevitable, and so on.

This is cognitive therapy, pure and simple, and for most people who have been traumatized, this is the end of the road. There’s nowhere else to go.

That said, it works well enough for man,y even though it takes a great deal of time and money, and in my view, probably leaves a lot undone.

With Radical Forgiveness, we take it to the next level. It’s at this stage that the healing really takes place and at a very fast rate.

The person is gently introduced to the idea that what happened was supposed to happen that way and that, far from being a tragedy, it was what their Higher Self had set up for them to experience. That’s when the healing process really takes off and goes into overdrive.

However, the timing has to be right. The Radical Forgiveness reframe has to be introduced carefully and with due respect for the person’s existing consciousness at the time.

If it is proposed too early, the person can be re-traumatized. The idea that they created it and that, from a spiritual perspective, it was entirely perfect might be just too radical for them.

My approach, when I have done all the emotional work and have completed the cognitive analysis, and feel the person is ready, goes something like this: “Would you possibly be open to seeing this situation from a different perspective?”

If I sense curiosity coming back from them, I then launch into it, step-by-step, looking to see how it might be landing for them.

I never ask them to believe it. In fact, I usually say, “I don’t believe it myself, but something happens if we just become willing to believe it. So, for a moment let’s just suppose…” And I go from there.

They nearly always buy it. Tentatively at first, of course, but gradually they find a sense of rightness about it. It resonates. They notice that they feel different inside. A weight has lifted from them. They become alive again.

My main experience over the years has been with people traumatized by sexual abuse and other relationship-based traumas.

But no matter how a person has been wounded or traumatized, I am totally convinced that Radical Forgiveness Therapy is at least part of the answer.

Posted in Mind-Body-Spirit, Shift in Consiousness, Tools | 6 Comments

Healing Depression and PTSD, Part 1.

Healing Depression and PTSD, Part 1

ptsdThe constantly recurring question in the minds of those who are even just a little bit depressed, has got to be, “Why Do I feel like this?” And then, immediately following that, “What’s wrong with me?”

Now I’m not a doctor so I am not going to say that severe clinical depression is not a matter of brain chemistry getting out of whack.

I can also see that medication can be very helpful to people who are suffering this debilitating condition. No doubt about it.

But is the glitch in brain chemistry the cause or the effect? Surely there has to be a reason why our brain is producing chemicals that make us feel like we are not worth anything, we’re a total failure and that life is not worth living?

It’s not like there is a depression germ that you catch. It arises from within. But from where? What causes it? And, what is the remedy?

It seems clear to me from my experience with people who come to my workshops suffering from depression, that it has its origins in childhood wounds and traumas suffered in any stage of life.

I believe, too, that depression is our mind giving us a very strong message to radically heal the repressed and suppressed memories of those events and to deal with the emotions linked to them. And that, if we heed that message using Radical Forgiveness therapy, the depression goes away.

The high rate of suicide among soldiers returning from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan is an indication of how overwhelming trauma can be.

Who wouldn’t be traumatized, being shot at all the time and threatened by bombs and roadside IEDs that might take off your legs and arms?

The unrelenting emotional pain and the feeling of helplessness, self-recrimination, anger and guilt that goes along with it, even after arriving back home, is so great that for some at least, suicide must seem to be the only way to find peace.

That they should see this as the only way out makes me very sad, because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Radical Forgiveness Therapy will enable them to heal and get on with life.

This is why I am offering any veteran of the Iraq or Afghanistan wars who is suffering in this way, to attend my upcoming Radical Self-Forgiveness/Self-Acceptance Workshop, March 13-15, at half price. (To register, call 1-972-202-9926.)

Of course, there are many ways, other than war, in which we can become traumatized, especially when we are children.

Trauma is caused by events that destroy our sense of security, and/or our trust in everyone around us and even threaten our lives.   It can be caused by a one-time event like a natural disaster or a violent attack. Sexual abuse is almost always traumatic.

Trauma can also come from being in an ongoing, highly stressful situation, such as living with an abusive, dysfunctional family, living in a crime-ridden area or fighting a cancer diagnosis.

The sudden death of a loved one can be very traumatic, too, and can throw a person into depression especially if the grief is suppressed.

We all use natural defense mechanisms like denial, suppression or repression of the emotional pain to help us cope with the shock and the fear experienced in traumatic situations.

But if they become permanent, we store up trouble for ourselves. The price we pay for not dealing with the pain is inevitably things like depression, post-traumatic stress syndrome, addiction and other behavioural problems.

At the Institute for Radical Forgiveness Therapy and Coaching, we have found over the years that depression yields to the Radical Forgiveness and Radical Self-Forgiveness/Self-Acceptance process very quickly

Bringing the memories and the feelings of guilt, anger, resentment and fear attached to the trauma to the surface and transforming it in the way we do at the workshops does the trick most of the time. Even if you need to take medication to keep you functional, Radical Forgiveness should be at least part of your protocol.

In next week’s blog, I will explain in more detail exactly how we work with people with depression and PTSD. Stay tuned.

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Self-Forgiveness Workshop

Are You Always Criticizing and Blaming Yourself
for Everything and Putting Yourself Down?

pointingColin reveals how to change all that in just 2-1/2 days. He’ll give you the keys to feeling a whole better about yourself using the Radical Self-Forgiveness/Self-Acceptance philosophy and the Tipping Method Technology. His workshop has helped hundreds of people find peace and happiness.

You will too if you attend this workshop this year.

I know. It sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it. Of course. We all know that forgiving yourself is much harder than forgiving others, don’t we?

You’ve probably tried many ways of stopping the constant self-criticism and doing all you can to raise your self-esteem, right?

Self-help books? Traditional therapy? New Age ‘advisors’ who just tell you to love yourself more? Psychics?

Me too. Left me frustrated and beating myself up even more for being ‘not spiritual enough’ to be able love myself more.   Sound familiar?

So, yes. I know exactly how you feel. Mildly depressed much of the time, with a free floating anxiety that comes from feeling not good enough, not loveable, unable to measure up to expectations, and so on.

But here’s the Good News!

For all the 15 years since I’d left England in 1984, and come to America, I felt like this and was down on myself. I couldn’t get out of my funk and wasn’t able to really get my life together.

Then I discovered Radical Forgiveness.   That in itself was transformational, but once I pointed it the other way and applied it to myself, everything changed.

My depression lifted. My self-esteem shot up. My business took off. My marriage to JoAnn blossomed. I attracted more clients and was able to help them really to see the light in themselves. (I couldn’t do that before because I didn’t acknowledge the light in myself.)

Since writing the book on Radical Forgiveness in 1997 and then another one later on Radical Self-Forgiveness, and discovered the keys to self-love, I have been able to help many hundreds of people find the same level of satisfaction and joy. Here’s how:

Introducing . . .

The Radical Self-Forgiveness/Self-Acceptance Workshop
March 13th – 15th, 2015
Atlanta, Georgia

This is the workshop that will help you to release all those negative beliefs about yourself, let go of self-blame and to feel a whole lot better about yourself in just 2-1/2 days. A weekend that will change your life.

So why is this different to everything you’ve tried before? Can it really turn everything around for you in just that amount of time?

Yes, it can.

Here’s What Will Happen For You:
– You will come to see the truth of who you are, why you are here, what your purpose is, and what soul agreements you made before you came in.

[This provides a spiritual context for what has caused guilt to arise in you, and how and why you have come to feel that you are not OK the way you are. That in itself is massively transformational and truly liberating.]

- You will be able to distinguish between appropriate and inappropriate guilt and know when, in normal everyday life, to take responsibility for something and when not to. This is very empowering.

- You will learn how to be unaffected by negative vibes from other people and to feel acceptance for them even if they are critical and judgmental.

- You will be able to let judgments run off your back like water off a duck’s back, as they say.

- You will come to know what the subconscious, core negative beliefs are that have caused you to feel shame about yourself. You will be able to distinguish between those beliefs that were planted into you by someone having shamed you, but are not really true, and those that are true and you are willing to own. This will give you a lot of self-empowerment.

- You will become acquainted with your cool and uncool aspects of yourself and become able to love and accept both.

Here’s How and Why it Works
We give you a number of special tools that you use during the workshop (and at home afterward, if necessary), that actually have a dramatic effect on your energy field. That’s what causes everything to change and allows your soul to heal the pain.

These tools don’t work with the mental intelligence of the mind, (which is likely to reject the whole idea), but with the Spiritual Intelligence of the Higher Self. This is the part of you that knows the truth of who you and loves you unconditionally. It will always say Yes to your request for forgiveness while the Ego will always say, “No.”

The required healing of mind, body and spirit will occur during a one-hour ‘Satori’ breathwork session. This is when everything that is done during the weekend is integrated into your cellular structure, so it becomes a part of whom you are, replacing all the old ideas that made you feel bad about yourself.

The breathwork is also another way to access your Higher Self. You simply lie on the floor with your eyes closed, with music playing, and breathe for about an hour That’s it. The effect is amazing.

Most important of all perhaps, is the group energy. Being among others who are going through their healing process really helps you and magnifies the healing energy.   The bonding that occurs is amazing. You heal them too, of course.

Here’s What Two Others Have Said About Their Experiences:

  1. Once again, I must thank you for your innovative workshop. I loved it. My friends see a noticeable difference in me. This is, I believe, because at the deepest level yet I have accepted my ‘dark side’ and am actually reveling in it. My self-judgment has gone right down and I am so thrilled, I want to shout to the world, “Read Radical Forgiveness and PLEASE search out Colin Tipping.”
    Yvonne D.
    New York, NY
  2. As my heart and mind move me through this experience [of recalling her experience of being in the group], that I had with each of you, I begin to reflect on the endless and unlimited power of reclaiming and loving our ‘uncool selves,’ and how each and everyone one of you felt, looked and sounded, as you read out and expressed with such passion, your truest most amazing selves with love and acceptance.   I feel, even now, the loving energy as each of us pounded and proclaimed our authenticity and vulnerability. What a powerful experience of release, of claiming and of loving ourselves.
    Lila H

    Montgomery, AL

I heard on TV program yesterday that a pretty run-of-mill treatment center that catered for people who were depressed or bipolar, offered a 30-day program for upwards of $26,000. There are many others who charge a lot more than that; I’m sure. Imagine what it would cost for a whole year. And basically the patients are warehoused there and may see a doctor once every few days if they are lucky.

Now, I’m not saying you are mentally ill and need programs like those. But there are countless millions of people who, like you, while not considered ill, are nevertheless suffering the pain of feeling they are not enough, unlovable or worthless. Some may even have flirted with the idea of committing suicide.

But don’t worry, you don’t have to pay that kind of money to discover that you are enough, that you are loveable and that your presence on this planet is valuable.

I know that it sounds too good to be true that it can happen in one weekend, but it does. However, I’m not going to say that you don’t get dragged back from time to time when life throws you for a loop.

For that reason, after you have completed the workshop, I’ll give you the Online Self-Forgiveness/Self-Acceptance program for nothing. This is normally for sale for $97. But it will be yours for free.

So, not only do you get 2-1/2 days of training with me, but a whole lifetime of use of a program that will continually reinforce the positive shift you made at the workshop. Anytime you start feeling down on yourself, you can use it to remind yourself of the truth.

It has many of the things you learned in the workshop so you will be reminded of how good you felt at the end of that experience. It will save you from possibly going back downhill again.

But there is something else you need to know. In the room we have booked is only enough floor space to have 20 people max lying down doing the breathwork. So, regrettably we have to draw the line at exactly that number.

That said, it is a good number to work with.  It allows me to work with every person on a personal level.  It is a financial limitation for me, but it’s a clear advantage for you.

But it does mean you have to get registered now with a $300 deposit to be sure of a place.  However, if it is less than two weeks prior to the workshop, then it will need to be the full amount.   This is because we will be charging the credit cards of all those who registered with a deposit the full amount due at that time.

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But don’t worry.   You take NO RISK if you book early even if you think you might change your mind later.  Let me explain our cancellation policy, so you see what I mean.  

For this workshop, there is NO PENALTY for cancellation.

You see?  No risk whatsoever!  Cancellations are so rare that when it does occur we assume there has to have been a very good reason for someone to feel it necessary to give up this incredible opportunity.  So, all monies are returned in full, no questions asked.

All we Ask is you Notify us In Good Time if you have to Cancel
The reason is since we have a strict limit on the number of people who can attend the workshop; there is likely to be a waiting list.  We simply ask you to be sensitive to our need to have enough time to let people know that a space has opened up as a result of your cancellation.  3 days would be the absolute minimum amount of notice – more would be better.

WARNING!
I need to warn you to be aware of a phenomenon that almost always occurs about three weeks before the workshop – just as the time is approaching when we will charge your credit card for the balance due (assuming that you have only paid the deposit up to that point).  

The phenomenon is subconscious resistance.  Your subconscious mind does not like change, even it’s positive.  It is about this time it realizes that this workshop will cause a change to occur in you, so it urges you to cancel, even if it means staying stuck and unhappy.  Please, know that it is normal, but push through it anyway.  You will kick yourself if you give in to it.

“Yes, Colin, I Want to Be a Part of this Workshop. What is my investment?”

The workshop runs from Friday afternoon at 2:00 pm to 4:00 pm on Sunday. We work til 10:00 pm both Friday and Saturday evening.   The cost is $997. That includes the tuition for the workshop, the online program – a $97 dollar value, evening meal on Friday evening ordered in, and light refreshments during the weekend.

But wait. I like to reward people who are willing to make a decision and take action. So, I’ll knock $100 OFF the price if you book before midnight on Friday, February 13th.

Judging by past experience it is likely that we will have the 20 people registered well before that deadline, so don’t wait. Do it now.

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Once again, just to remind you of what you will be getting, let me do a quick summary of the benefits that you will enjoy when you attend this workshop:

- Increased love and acceptance of yourself the way you are

- Acceptance of every part of you, including both the cool and uncool.

- The ability to accept responsibility with humility for what you do or have done, but to know the difference between appropriate guilt and inappropriate guilt.

- The strength to withstand the judgment of others without going into shame knowing that it is their projection and therefore not the truth, and to love them the way they are.

- The release of all the core-negative beliefs about yourself that have made you feel that you are not OK the way you are.

- The peace that comes from the insight that your perfection lies in your imperfection.

- The joy that comes when you connect with the truth that everything is in divine order.

- Finally, you get all the tools that make it work, and an online program that is available to you for the rest of your life.

This was a long letter so I want to thank you for your patience and for hanging in there with me, but I wanted to give you as much information as I could to help you make the decision.

I’m excited about you getting the results you want at the Radical Self-Forgiveness/Self-Acceptance workshop and look forward to seeing you there.

Blessings,

Colin

P.S. Don’t think I don’t realize this is a bit scary for you. It is for everyone. I know that you will feel resistance to doing this workshop. Your subconscious mind does not like change even if you are in pain.

But if you decide not to participate, you will stay right where you are now, feeling bad about yourself. Is that really what you want?

Grab this opportunity while you can. This is the only time I will be doing this workshop this year so there will be no second chance. Click that button now.

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The Secret Formula for Forgiving Yourself

Secret FormulaThe Secret Formula for Forgiving Yourself

In my previous blog, I focused on how to come to a place of self-acceptance and self-love. The secret to that was loving what was being mirrored for you by, in that particular instance, the ‘crazies’ out there creating mayhem around the world.

In this one, I want to shift the focus to the other aspect of Radical Self-Empowerment: Radical Self-Forgiveness.

Everyone agrees that forgiving oneself is much more difficult than forgiving others. We all need help with it. However, the good news is there is a formula that really works, and that’s what I want to share with you today. You will have the means to do it immediately.

The emotion that drives our need to beat up on ourselves for what we are ashamed of having done or are doing, or didn’t do that we should have done, is guilt. The more guilty we feel, the less able we are to forgive ourselves.

That, of course, assumes we are able to feel guilt. Sociopaths have little ability to feel this emotion, so they have no ability to make good decisions based on an anticipation of appropriate guilt. Then there are those at the other end of the scale who are chronically afflicted with it and feel guilty about everything and anything, even when it has nothing to do with them.

I doubt whether what I have to say will help either of those. Those I will leave to the psychologists and psychiatrists.

I work with people who have a fairly normal guilt threshold, a reasonably developed conscience, a basic level of ability to make decisions after using the right amount of anticipatory guilt, who would understand the difference between appropriate guilt and inappropriate guilt, and so on.

In other words, perfectly normal, neurotic people, like you and me.

I also deal with perfectionists who are stricken with guilt because everything they do is not as perfect as it should be. They are easy to work with if not exactly easy to cure the habit. I can, however, neutralize the cause of it. Then there are those who tend to worry about what others might think, even when doing what is right for them. That’s not so much a question of guilt as it is shame. Low self-regard. For them Radical Self-Acceptance becomes the remedy.

Clearly guilt and shame are closely related. Guilt comes from my actions or behavior. But if what I did make me feel ashamed of who I am, then shame is added to the guilt. Shame is related to who I am as a person. I did something wrong; therefore, I am a bad person.

So why is Self-Forgiveness so difficult? With forgiveness of others, we have a forgiver and a forgiven. With self-forgiveness, we are both at the same time. I am asking myself to forgive myself. Judge, jury and witness all in the same case and all inside my own head.

The other thing is the ‘self’ we are appealing to is not just one single self. It is a whole community of selves all of them contradicting one another. When it comes to handing out forgiveness favors, the big honcho, who will step up to the bar to handle your plea, will always be the Inner Judge, aided and abetted by the Critical Parent. Guess what they are always going to say. NO, of course.

What this means is you are doing battle with your own Ego. The ego is the master of guilt. It exists for and feeds upon that energy, so the more guilt you have, the better. Guilt is like nectar to your ego. No wonder then that the answer is “No.”

So here’s the answer to that conundrum. It’s my secret formula for self forgiveness, if you like, except it’s not so secret really since it is in my Radical Self Forgiveness book, but you may not have a copy on your bookshelf.

In my upcoming Radical Self-Forgiveness workshop, we go into depth on how to apply the formula in any situation where guilt is experienced, but here’s the main principle.

Don’t bother asking your ‘human self’ (ego) for forgiveness by going into your mind with it. Ask your Higher Self instead. This is the self that is still connected to the divine and knows who you are and why you are here in human form. It knows there are no mistakes and that you are perfect the way you are. So it will always say “Yes.” It will always forgive you, no matter what.

The question then remains. How do we do that? The answer is Radical Self-Forgiveness. By using the tools associated with the Radical Self-forgiveness method, we bypass the mind automatically and go straight to the Higher Self. However, we have learned over the years that if you try to do it without using the tools, it doesn’t work. The mind interferes.

Once we recognize that what we see and criticize in others is simply a reflection of what we can’t stand in ourselves, it becomes clear that we are being given an opportunity to heal the split within ourselves. By taking back all our projections and loving the parts of us we had previously hated, we expand into Love for ourselves and return ourselves to wholeness. We also expand our Love and gratitude for those who ‘volunteered’ to show up and mirror our shadow for us. Bear in mind, too that this phenomenon works with groups in exactly the same way as with individuals. It even works with countries. As we saw in Chapter 11, it was highly likely that America went to war with Iraq because Saddam Hussein resonated a huge amount of self-hatred and shame that was in America’s shadow, and he represented the perfect person and country on whom to project it.

Exercise:
Make a list of two people you have disliked and then list each and every quality you saw in them that you found unacceptable. Dig deep and be honest with yourself. Don’t censor your list, even if you think you might be being unfair. Just tune into your own feelings of disapproval in regard to what you see.

      Person 1.                          Person 2.

 _______________        _______________

Now here’s the bit you’re not going to like. Transfer each item on those two lists to the following worksheet.

THE EMBRACING MY SHADOW WORKSHEET

The qualities, I am now seeing, were being mirrored back to me by those people I found myself judging and am willing to now love and accept as part of me, are:






That sucks, doesn’t it! Nevertheless, it is important to list every quality you saw in the two people and didn’t like, even if some of them feel totally unlike you and, at first sight, you feel unable to own them. They may be highly symbolic of something in your shadow that is hard to identify, or be representative of some other quality that your subconscious mind links to the one listed, but several times removed.

The good news is that you don’t have to know what these qualities symbolize or represent. It is simply a matter of accepting the principle, “If You Spot It, You Got It.” In other words, if you see it in someone else and it upsets you, then it’s yours. There are no exceptions to this rule.

The more what you see ‘out there’ upsets you, the more vital it is that you love and accept it within you. Resist the temptation to continue judging those qualities as ‘bad’ and criticizing yourself for having them. Doing that simply strengthens the shadow and increases your inner-directed shame. The only way to dissolve the energy it is to love it just the way it is. Also, just as we said that in order to take the power away from core-negative beliefs, it was essential to love ourselves for having the beliefs, it is every bit as important to love ourselves for having these qualities. They are who we are, at least for now. This is simply another way to expand into Love.

Subsequent Action
While looking at the list of qualities you have recognized as being the parts of you that you had previously denied, repressed and projected onto a lot of people, read the following statements out loud, slowly and deliberately, making sure you get the full meaning of the statement.

  1. I now see that all these people have been mirroring for me the parts of myself I have made wrong and have judged, denied, repressed and projected onto them. I thank all of them for mirroring those parts of my shadow.
  2. I am now taking back the projections and am now willing to love and accept this part of me. They each are a part of who I am, and I would not be complete without them.
  3. I now realize they are not things to be overcome or gotten rid of. Neither are they obstacles standing in my way of my growth and healing. I love and accept each one just the way it is.
  4. As I become willing to love and accept these parts of me, I trust that whatever caused me to form these shadow aspects, such as lies, misperceptions or the result of being shamed, will dissolve automatically as I come to love them.  
  5. Conversely, I realize that if I continue to judge those parts of myself and resist loving them, they will grow stronger. (What you resist, persists.)
  6. If the underlying belief about one or more is actually ‘true,’ then my acceptance of it as just being who I am will allow me to transform the energy and use the positive power inherent in that part of me to good purpose. (My perfection lies in my imperfection.)
  7. Having brought my shadow aspects to the light, I realize that my Spiritual Intelligence has facilitated every one of these healing opportunities; and I honor and bless all the people on my list for being willing to be healing angels for me.

Signed: __________________________                           

Date: ______________

Posted in Shift in Consiousness | 8 Comments

Terrorists and Self-Acceptance

je-suis-charlieTerrorists and Self-Acceptance
Look at What I Created

What happened in France last week shocked the world. The cold-blooded murders were bad enough, but what really pushed everyone’s buttons was that it was the direct challenge and affront to our values, especially freedom of expression.

(Note: The U.S. limits this more than most. Any American proclaiming “Je suis Charlie,” should realize the U.S. would never have allowed that paper to exist in the first place. That’s probably why they didn’t send someone in high office to participate in the parade of other world leaders.)

But in terms of the pure violence displayed on that day, it was nothing compared to the sickening, ongoing violence, especially against women, that is happening daily in Nigeria, Syria, Iraq, North Korea, and many other parts of the world, almost all of it in the name of some religion or another.  

But consider this. According to the law of cause and effect, it is a spiritual principle that whatever is occurring ‘out there’ is a reflection of what is ‘in here.’ Whatever is showing up in the world is a projection of our own consciousness (beliefs, ideas, attitudes, and prejudices.)

Wow! Look what we created!

Not very pretty, to say the least. But that’s how it is, right now. Accept it.

Feel the pain – OK, but stop judging it. Everything happens for a reason, remember?

Do we know what the reason is? No. Of course, not.

But this much we do know:

The terrorists [our healing angels?] have got our attention. They are showing each one of us what we need to heal in ourselves: e.g. intolerance, violence, control and manipulation, lust for power, manic religiosity, mysogyny, cruelty, hatred, etc., before we can have peace within ourselves and in the world.

So, is action NOT called for? Yes, it is. Absolutely.

Here’s what you need to do if you want to make a difference in whatever is happening that you find upsetting. And it doesn’t matter if it’s a world event or something very local and personal. It’s all the same process – taking back the projection and healing our minds.

Taking back the projection is the easy part. This is done simply by realizing that what you see out there is what you need to love and accept in yourself. You then forgive the ‘mirror’ on that account, using the Radical Forgiveness worksheet.

The real challenge, though is coming to love and accept those aspects of your ‘shadow-stuff’ being mirrored back to you from ‘out there.’

And yes, I did say, loving and accepting. Not rejecting, releasing or any words that typify too many approaches to healing one’s shadow. They don’t work.

Every one of the qualities I listed earlier (intolerance, violence, control and manipulation, lust for power, manic religiosity, misogyny, cruelty, hatred, etc., that the terrorists are mirroring for us, are sustained by a belief, or set of beliefs, of some kind.

For example:   “I will be a victim unless I strike first.” “Other people are responsible for my happiness.” “My religion gives me permission to be immoral and relieves me of responsibility if I believe it is God’s will.” “The world is an unsafe place.” “I have to kill or be killed.” “I have to be violent to get attention.” “Women are less than men,” “Women should be kept in their place;” “Women are dangerous.” “I have to be in control.” “I need to have power over others to feel good about myself.” “It’s not OK to speak the truth.” “My religion is the only religion.” “If I die after killing a lot of people, I will be rewarded in heaven.”

So a good place, to start, is to look at what the ‘mirror’ is showing you – and you can tell what it is by how much judgment (energy) you have around it – and then look inside to see if you have a belief in you that might promote you acting this way yourself.

Even if you cannot be specific, just focus on the ‘mirror’ (terrorists) and all that it represents. Then pray, meditate or do a Self-Acceptance worksheet for help in coming to love yourself for having these beliefs, as well as loving and accepting the beliefs that underly the behavior.

You have to love them as part of who you have been up to now, and be open to the possibility that they have served you in some way. Love them for what they have done for you, even if you can’t see it.

I know. It’s totally counterintuitive, isn’t it? Love my violent streak? My mysogynistic ideas? The part of me that can be cruel? Love them? You must be kidding!

I’m not kidding. It is the only way, I promise. I’m sure you have heard “what you resist, persists, right?”  If you resist the energy by trying to release it from a place of judgment, it will only become stronger.  You have to love them. Only then will they lose their power.

So, I hope you can now see that to ask “How do I get rid of these beliefs?” is to ask the wrong question.  The real question is, “How can I get to a point where I can lovingly accept my belief, and love myself completely for having it, so I can let it dissolve naturally?” 

Beliefs are not just benign things that exist as connections in the brain which can be turned off just like that.  They exist as an integral part of your Self. 

That means, if you make the beliefs wrong and try to get rid of them, you are actually attacking and undermining your own Self.  You will fight that tooth and nail, of course. You might even start a war over it!

This is why we need Radical Self-Empowerment as a resource to help us get there. It’s actually a fusion of Radical Self-Forgiveness and Radical Self-Acceptance; in essence, self-love. Along with other worksheets, you can download one for free from this website in the Free Stuff section of Colin’s Cafe.

On the free combination Self-Forgiveness/Self-Acceptance worksheet, it suggests you use all those ‘mirrors’ in your life to identify all your subconscious beliefs that you hate to own.

Then, to go through them to see how you might have been shamed by someone into thinking you were that.

If that is the grounds on which you formed that idea about yourself, it will fall away upon that realization. (You might also need to do a Radical Forgiveness worksheet on the person who shamed you.)

Second, see which of those qualities you are willing to own and love, even if they are true and reflective of who you are today. No judgment is allowed.

Self-acceptance is all about loving you just the way you are. The goal is to come to the full realization that your perfection lies in your imperfection.

I’m not OK;

You’re not OK.

But that’s perfectly OK. That’s how it’s meant to be.

Posted in Current Events | 28 Comments