Colin’s Hot Topics for Radical Living

by Colin Tipping

The more technology shrinks and connects our world, the more we are confronted with challenges that we have to deal with, almost on a daily basis. As I watch it all unfold, I will be inspired from time to time, to focus attention on and share with you how my Radical Living Strategies can help all of us meet our challenges with greater ease and compassion. My hope is that these offerings give you the insight you need to create the peaceful, fulfilling life you desire.

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Healing Infidelity

Healing Infidelity

Healing-a-relationship-after-infidelity1-300x190St. Valentine and Hallmark Cards have a lot to answer for. So have the authors of children’s books who finish their stories with the line . . .” and they got married and lived happily ever after.”

I was a speaker on a Valentine’s Day Cruise last week. What I observed did not support that idea.

What I saw was a lot of . . .” and then they got married, and became disappointed and disillusioned not too long after.”

Of the 31 people in my seminar, 25 of them had experienced marital breakups. Of those, 11 of them cited infidelity by their partner as the cause.

Most of those who experienced that event in their lives were more than deeply wounded by it.

Naturally, our sympathy nearly always goes to the aggrieved party, because we can easily identify with their pain. We can readily imagine how we would feel if our partner betrayed us in that way.

On the other hand, we have precious little sympathy left for the one who strayed and did the cheating, especially if it repeatedly happened.

However, my contention is that there’s very little difference between being a victim or a perpetrator, in energetic terms. Each is the opposite side of the same coin. The big difference is how much support we get.

Of the 31 people in the room, (14 couples, 17 singles), 8 openly admitted to having had affairs. Of those, there wasn’t one who didn’t feel a lot of guilt and shame about having lied, hurt their partner, and destroyed the trust on which their relationship was built. Their pain was equal to those they betrayed.

They were hurting, too, even if they were trying to hide it. They needed help no less than those who saw themselves as the victims.

We see this all the time in our Radical Self-Forgiveness workshops. A very high proportion of people, both men and women, who come to this workshop, come to work through their guilt and shame for having cheated on their partners and having experienced their own version of hell as a consequence.

They recognize how much pain and chaos they have inflicted, not only on their own family, but on the person they had an affair with, and even on that person’s family. The damage done may have cost them their marriage, their children, their reputation, and so on.

Look what happened to Senator John Edwards after having been outed as a cheater on his wife, Elizabeth, while she was supporting his bid for the White House even while she was battling cancer.

Like we all do when we feel ashamed of what we have done, and whom we think we have become as a result of our actions, he did his best to hide it. Just as he did, we try to justify our own crimes, make excuses, and shift the blame onto others.

But, as much as we try to get ourselves off the hook, there’s no escaping the guilt and shame, not to mention the punishment.

I would have loved to have had him in my Radical Self-Forgiveness workshop and his wife, Elizabeth in my Miracles (Radical Forgiveness) workshop.

I might not have been able to save his career, nor could I have healed her cancer, but I most certainly could have saved both of them a great deal of pain.

Who knows what a difference it might have made to the outcome for them and everyone else involved?

The work Dinny Evans is now doing with prisoners doing life for murder in San Quentin State Prison also proves that it’s only when we bring forgiveness to bear on both the victim and the perpetrator that real healing can begin for either.

Conversely, it’s only when the victim realizes he or she was, at some level, responsible for creating the situation for his or her own spiritual growth, and the perpetrator is able to forgive himself or herself on the same grounds, that real peace can occur for both.

[For more information on how you can be involved in the prison project, click here.]

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Depression Part 2

Depression Part 2

depressedLast week we looked at the idea that depression was some kind of a wake-up call from within, the message being, “Heal your pain or continue suffering.”

I also claimed we have had a lot of success dealing with it through the Radical Forgiveness and Self-Forgiveness technology.

In this follow-up session, I would like to say more about the method we use that gets these results.

The first stage in Radical Forgiveness, as with all other methods, is to find a way to have you talk about what happened, without being judged, and without the listener trying to fix you. It is essential that you feel understood and that your feelings are validated.

The more you talk, the more the tension is released from your mind and body. Being encouraged to focus on body sensations as you talk gets you more in touch with the memories and feelings you experienced at the time, as well as those you experience as you relate your story.

Feeling the feelings is the second stage in the Radical Forgiveness process, and we know this to be a crucial step. You can’t heal what you don’t feel. I know you’ve heard me say that many times, but its true.

However, one of the effects of having used and made permanent one or more of the defense mechanisms, is that you may have numbed out. You’re unable to feel your feelings. It’s not that the feelings are not there. You are simply unable to access them.

Doing something physical helps you discharge pent-up “fight-or-flight” emotional energy—something explosive and fast-moving like beating some cushions with a tennis racquet. (It makes such a good noise!)

When you do this, the body takes over. Your mind gets out of the way and the resistance to feeling the feelings dissolves.

The anger erupts. You’re likely to collapse in tears, shake violently for a few minutes and then go quiet.

Then come the feelings beneath the anger – sadness, grief, hurt and very often, with soldiers having PTSD, survivor’s remorse.

“Why was I spared when my mates were killed? It should have been me.”

Beating the cushion is a technique I use all the time in Radical Forgiveness Therapy. You have to get in touch with the raw emotion behind what happened.

However, I never recommend that you do it on your own without having support from someone who can hold the space for you to go through the anger and the whole process without needing to intervene or being fazed by the process.

It is not always pretty and can be upsetting to someone who is not used to it.

As you probably know, the 3rd stage in the Radical Forgiveness Process is collapsing the story.

This is where we take some of the heat out of the trauma by trying to rationalize it, understand why it happened, what factors might have made it inevitable, and so on.

This is cognitive therapy, pure and simple, and for most people who have been traumatized, this is the end of the road. There’s nowhere else to go.

That said, it works well enough for man,y even though it takes a great deal of time and money, and in my view, probably leaves a lot undone.

With Radical Forgiveness, we take it to the next level. It’s at this stage that the healing really takes place and at a very fast rate.

The person is gently introduced to the idea that what happened was supposed to happen that way and that, far from being a tragedy, it was what their Higher Self had set up for them to experience. That’s when the healing process really takes off and goes into overdrive.

However, the timing has to be right. The Radical Forgiveness reframe has to be introduced carefully and with due respect for the person’s existing consciousness at the time.

If it is proposed too early, the person can be re-traumatized. The idea that they created it and that, from a spiritual perspective, it was entirely perfect might be just too radical for them.

My approach, when I have done all the emotional work and have completed the cognitive analysis, and feel the person is ready, goes something like this: “Would you possibly be open to seeing this situation from a different perspective?”

If I sense curiosity coming back from them, I then launch into it, step-by-step, looking to see how it might be landing for them.

I never ask them to believe it. In fact, I usually say, “I don’t believe it myself, but something happens if we just become willing to believe it. So, for a moment let’s just suppose…” And I go from there.

They nearly always buy it. Tentatively at first, of course, but gradually they find a sense of rightness about it. It resonates. They notice that they feel different inside. A weight has lifted from them. They become alive again.

My main experience over the years has been with people traumatized by sexual abuse and other relationship-based traumas.

But no matter how a person has been wounded or traumatized, I am totally convinced that Radical Forgiveness Therapy is at least part of the answer.

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Healing Depression and PTSD, Part 1.

Healing Depression and PTSD, Part 1

ptsdThe constantly recurring question in the minds of those who are even just a little bit depressed, has got to be, “Why Do I feel like this?” And then, immediately following that, “What’s wrong with me?”

Now I’m not a doctor so I am not going to say that severe clinical depression is not a matter of brain chemistry getting out of whack.

I can also see that medication can be very helpful to people who are suffering this debilitating condition. No doubt about it.

But is the glitch in brain chemistry the cause or the effect? Surely there has to be a reason why our brain is producing chemicals that make us feel like we are not worth anything, we’re a total failure and that life is not worth living?

It’s not like there is a depression germ that you catch. It arises from within. But from where? What causes it? And, what is the remedy?

It seems clear to me from my experience with people who come to my workshops suffering from depression, that it has its origins in childhood wounds and traumas suffered in any stage of life.

I believe, too, that depression is our mind giving us a very strong message to radically heal the repressed and suppressed memories of those events and to deal with the emotions linked to them. And that, if we heed that message using Radical Forgiveness therapy, the depression goes away.

The high rate of suicide among soldiers returning from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan is an indication of how overwhelming trauma can be.

Who wouldn’t be traumatized, being shot at all the time and threatened by bombs and roadside IEDs that might take off your legs and arms?

The unrelenting emotional pain and the feeling of helplessness, self-recrimination, anger and guilt that goes along with it, even after arriving back home, is so great that for some at least, suicide must seem to be the only way to find peace.

That they should see this as the only way out makes me very sad, because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Radical Forgiveness Therapy will enable them to heal and get on with life.

This is why I am offering any veteran of the Iraq or Afghanistan wars who is suffering in this way, to attend my upcoming Radical Self-Forgiveness/Self-Acceptance Workshop, March 13-15, at half price. (To register, call 1-972-202-9926.)

Of course, there are many ways, other than war, in which we can become traumatized, especially when we are children.

Trauma is caused by events that destroy our sense of security, and/or our trust in everyone around us and even threaten our lives.   It can be caused by a one-time event like a natural disaster or a violent attack. Sexual abuse is almost always traumatic.

Trauma can also come from being in an ongoing, highly stressful situation, such as living with an abusive, dysfunctional family, living in a crime-ridden area or fighting a cancer diagnosis.

The sudden death of a loved one can be very traumatic, too, and can throw a person into depression especially if the grief is suppressed.

We all use natural defense mechanisms like denial, suppression or repression of the emotional pain to help us cope with the shock and the fear experienced in traumatic situations.

But if they become permanent, we store up trouble for ourselves. The price we pay for not dealing with the pain is inevitably things like depression, post-traumatic stress syndrome, addiction and other behavioural problems.

At the Institute for Radical Forgiveness Therapy and Coaching, we have found over the years that depression yields to the Radical Forgiveness and Radical Self-Forgiveness/Self-Acceptance process very quickly

Bringing the memories and the feelings of guilt, anger, resentment and fear attached to the trauma to the surface and transforming it in the way we do at the workshops does the trick most of the time. Even if you need to take medication to keep you functional, Radical Forgiveness should be at least part of your protocol.

In next week’s blog, I will explain in more detail exactly how we work with people with depression and PTSD. Stay tuned.

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Self-Forgiveness Workshop

Are You Always Criticizing and Blaming Yourself
for Everything and Putting Yourself Down?

pointingColin reveals how to change all that in just 2-1/2 days. He’ll give you the keys to feeling a whole better about yourself using the Radical Self-Forgiveness/Self-Acceptance philosophy and the Tipping Method Technology. His workshop has helped hundreds of people find peace and happiness.

You will too if you attend this workshop this year.

I know. It sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it. Of course. We all know that forgiving yourself is much harder than forgiving others, don’t we?

You’ve probably tried many ways of stopping the constant self-criticism and doing all you can to raise your self-esteem, right?

Self-help books? Traditional therapy? New Age ‘advisors’ who just tell you to love yourself more? Psychics?

Me too. Left me frustrated and beating myself up even more for being ‘not spiritual enough’ to be able love myself more.   Sound familiar?

So, yes. I know exactly how you feel. Mildly depressed much of the time, with a free floating anxiety that comes from feeling not good enough, not loveable, unable to measure up to expectations, and so on.

But here’s the Good News!

For all the 15 years since I’d left England in 1984, and come to America, I felt like this and was down on myself. I couldn’t get out of my funk and wasn’t able to really get my life together.

Then I discovered Radical Forgiveness.   That in itself was transformational, but once I pointed it the other way and applied it to myself, everything changed.

My depression lifted. My self-esteem shot up. My business took off. My marriage to JoAnn blossomed. I attracted more clients and was able to help them really to see the light in themselves. (I couldn’t do that before because I didn’t acknowledge the light in myself.)

Since writing the book on Radical Forgiveness in 1997 and then another one later on Radical Self-Forgiveness, and discovered the keys to self-love, I have been able to help many hundreds of people find the same level of satisfaction and joy. Here’s how:

Introducing . . .

The Radical Self-Forgiveness/Self-Acceptance Workshop
March 13th – 15th, 2015
Atlanta, Georgia

This is the workshop that will help you to release all those negative beliefs about yourself, let go of self-blame and to feel a whole lot better about yourself in just 2-1/2 days. A weekend that will change your life.

So why is this different to everything you’ve tried before? Can it really turn everything around for you in just that amount of time?

Yes, it can.

Here’s What Will Happen For You:
– You will come to see the truth of who you are, why you are here, what your purpose is, and what soul agreements you made before you came in.

[This provides a spiritual context for what has caused guilt to arise in you, and how and why you have come to feel that you are not OK the way you are. That in itself is massively transformational and truly liberating.]

- You will be able to distinguish between appropriate and inappropriate guilt and know when, in normal everyday life, to take responsibility for something and when not to. This is very empowering.

- You will learn how to be unaffected by negative vibes from other people and to feel acceptance for them even if they are critical and judgmental.

- You will be able to let judgments run off your back like water off a duck’s back, as they say.

- You will come to know what the subconscious, core negative beliefs are that have caused you to feel shame about yourself. You will be able to distinguish between those beliefs that were planted into you by someone having shamed you, but are not really true, and those that are true and you are willing to own. This will give you a lot of self-empowerment.

- You will become acquainted with your cool and uncool aspects of yourself and become able to love and accept both.

Here’s How and Why it Works
We give you a number of special tools that you use during the workshop (and at home afterward, if necessary), that actually have a dramatic effect on your energy field. That’s what causes everything to change and allows your soul to heal the pain.

These tools don’t work with the mental intelligence of the mind, (which is likely to reject the whole idea), but with the Spiritual Intelligence of the Higher Self. This is the part of you that knows the truth of who you and loves you unconditionally. It will always say Yes to your request for forgiveness while the Ego will always say, “No.”

The required healing of mind, body and spirit will occur during a one-hour ‘Satori’ breathwork session. This is when everything that is done during the weekend is integrated into your cellular structure, so it becomes a part of whom you are, replacing all the old ideas that made you feel bad about yourself.

The breathwork is also another way to access your Higher Self. You simply lie on the floor with your eyes closed, with music playing, and breathe for about an hour That’s it. The effect is amazing.

Most important of all perhaps, is the group energy. Being among others who are going through their healing process really helps you and magnifies the healing energy.   The bonding that occurs is amazing. You heal them too, of course.

Here’s What Two Others Have Said About Their Experiences:

  1. Once again, I must thank you for your innovative workshop. I loved it. My friends see a noticeable difference in me. This is, I believe, because at the deepest level yet I have accepted my ‘dark side’ and am actually reveling in it. My self-judgment has gone right down and I am so thrilled, I want to shout to the world, “Read Radical Forgiveness and PLEASE search out Colin Tipping.”
    Yvonne D.
    New York, NY
  2. As my heart and mind move me through this experience [of recalling her experience of being in the group], that I had with each of you, I begin to reflect on the endless and unlimited power of reclaiming and loving our ‘uncool selves,’ and how each and everyone one of you felt, looked and sounded, as you read out and expressed with such passion, your truest most amazing selves with love and acceptance.   I feel, even now, the loving energy as each of us pounded and proclaimed our authenticity and vulnerability. What a powerful experience of release, of claiming and of loving ourselves.
    Lila H

    Montgomery, AL

I heard on TV program yesterday that a pretty run-of-mill treatment center that catered for people who were depressed or bipolar, offered a 30-day program for upwards of $26,000. There are many others who charge a lot more than that; I’m sure. Imagine what it would cost for a whole year. And basically the patients are warehoused there and may see a doctor once every few days if they are lucky.

Now, I’m not saying you are mentally ill and need programs like those. But there are countless millions of people who, like you, while not considered ill, are nevertheless suffering the pain of feeling they are not enough, unlovable or worthless. Some may even have flirted with the idea of committing suicide.

But don’t worry, you don’t have to pay that kind of money to discover that you are enough, that you are loveable and that your presence on this planet is valuable.

I know that it sounds too good to be true that it can happen in one weekend, but it does. However, I’m not going to say that you don’t get dragged back from time to time when life throws you for a loop.

For that reason, after you have completed the workshop, I’ll give you the Online Self-Forgiveness/Self-Acceptance program for nothing. This is normally for sale for $97. But it will be yours for free.

So, not only do you get 2-1/2 days of training with me, but a whole lifetime of use of a program that will continually reinforce the positive shift you made at the workshop. Anytime you start feeling down on yourself, you can use it to remind yourself of the truth.

It has many of the things you learned in the workshop so you will be reminded of how good you felt at the end of that experience. It will save you from possibly going back downhill again.

But there is something else you need to know. In the room we have booked is only enough floor space to have 20 people max lying down doing the breathwork. So, regrettably we have to draw the line at exactly that number.

That said, it is a good number to work with.  It allows me to work with every person on a personal level.  It is a financial limitation for me, but it’s a clear advantage for you.

But it does mean you have to get registered now with a $300 deposit to be sure of a place.  However, if it is less than two weeks prior to the workshop, then it will need to be the full amount.   This is because we will be charging the credit cards of all those who registered with a deposit the full amount due at that time.


But don’t worry.   You take NO RISK if you book early even if you think you might change your mind later.  Let me explain our cancellation policy, so you see what I mean.  

For this workshop, there is NO PENALTY for cancellation.

You see?  No risk whatsoever!  Cancellations are so rare that when it does occur we assume there has to have been a very good reason for someone to feel it necessary to give up this incredible opportunity.  So, all monies are returned in full, no questions asked.

All we Ask is you Notify us In Good Time if you have to Cancel
The reason is since we have a strict limit on the number of people who can attend the workshop; there is likely to be a waiting list.  We simply ask you to be sensitive to our need to have enough time to let people know that a space has opened up as a result of your cancellation.  3 days would be the absolute minimum amount of notice – more would be better.

I need to warn you to be aware of a phenomenon that almost always occurs about three weeks before the workshop – just as the time is approaching when we will charge your credit card for the balance due (assuming that you have only paid the deposit up to that point).  

The phenomenon is subconscious resistance.  Your subconscious mind does not like change, even it’s positive.  It is about this time it realizes that this workshop will cause a change to occur in you, so it urges you to cancel, even if it means staying stuck and unhappy.  Please, know that it is normal, but push through it anyway.  You will kick yourself if you give in to it.

“Yes, Colin, I Want to Be a Part of this Workshop. What is my investment?”

The workshop runs from Friday afternoon at 2:00 pm to 4:00 pm on Sunday. We work til 10:00 pm both Friday and Saturday evening.   The cost is $997. That includes the tuition for the workshop, the online program – a $97 dollar value, evening meal on Friday evening ordered in, and light refreshments during the weekend.

But wait. I like to reward people who are willing to make a decision and take action. So, I’ll knock $100 OFF the price if you book before midnight on Friday, February 13th.

Judging by past experience it is likely that we will have the 20 people registered well before that deadline, so don’t wait. Do it now.


Once again, just to remind you of what you will be getting, let me do a quick summary of the benefits that you will enjoy when you attend this workshop:

- Increased love and acceptance of yourself the way you are

- Acceptance of every part of you, including both the cool and uncool.

- The ability to accept responsibility with humility for what you do or have done, but to know the difference between appropriate guilt and inappropriate guilt.

- The strength to withstand the judgment of others without going into shame knowing that it is their projection and therefore not the truth, and to love them the way they are.

- The release of all the core-negative beliefs about yourself that have made you feel that you are not OK the way you are.

- The peace that comes from the insight that your perfection lies in your imperfection.

- The joy that comes when you connect with the truth that everything is in divine order.

- Finally, you get all the tools that make it work, and an online program that is available to you for the rest of your life.

This was a long letter so I want to thank you for your patience and for hanging in there with me, but I wanted to give you as much information as I could to help you make the decision.

I’m excited about you getting the results you want at the Radical Self-Forgiveness/Self-Acceptance workshop and look forward to seeing you there.



P.S. Don’t think I don’t realize this is a bit scary for you. It is for everyone. I know that you will feel resistance to doing this workshop. Your subconscious mind does not like change even if you are in pain.

But if you decide not to participate, you will stay right where you are now, feeling bad about yourself. Is that really what you want?

Grab this opportunity while you can. This is the only time I will be doing this workshop this year so there will be no second chance. Click that button now.

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The Secret Formula for Forgiving Yourself

Secret FormulaThe Secret Formula for Forgiving Yourself

In my previous blog, I focused on how to come to a place of self-acceptance and self-love. The secret to that was loving what was being mirrored for you by, in that particular instance, the ‘crazies’ out there creating mayhem around the world.

In this one, I want to shift the focus to the other aspect of Radical Self-Empowerment: Radical Self-Forgiveness.

Everyone agrees that forgiving oneself is much more difficult than forgiving others. We all need help with it. However, the good news is there is a formula that really works, and that’s what I want to share with you today. You will have the means to do it immediately.

The emotion that drives our need to beat up on ourselves for what we are ashamed of having done or are doing, or didn’t do that we should have done, is guilt. The more guilty we feel, the less able we are to forgive ourselves.

That, of course, assumes we are able to feel guilt. Sociopaths have little ability to feel this emotion, so they have no ability to make good decisions based on an anticipation of appropriate guilt. Then there are those at the other end of the scale who are chronically afflicted with it and feel guilty about everything and anything, even when it has nothing to do with them.

I doubt whether what I have to say will help either of those. Those I will leave to the psychologists and psychiatrists.

I work with people who have a fairly normal guilt threshold, a reasonably developed conscience, a basic level of ability to make decisions after using the right amount of anticipatory guilt, who would understand the difference between appropriate guilt and inappropriate guilt, and so on.

In other words, perfectly normal, neurotic people, like you and me.

I also deal with perfectionists who are stricken with guilt because everything they do is not as perfect as it should be. They are easy to work with if not exactly easy to cure the habit. I can, however, neutralize the cause of it. Then there are those who tend to worry about what others might think, even when doing what is right for them. That’s not so much a question of guilt as it is shame. Low self-regard. For them Radical Self-Acceptance becomes the remedy.

Clearly guilt and shame are closely related. Guilt comes from my actions or behavior. But if what I did make me feel ashamed of who I am, then shame is added to the guilt. Shame is related to who I am as a person. I did something wrong; therefore, I am a bad person.

So why is Self-Forgiveness so difficult? With forgiveness of others, we have a forgiver and a forgiven. With self-forgiveness, we are both at the same time. I am asking myself to forgive myself. Judge, jury and witness all in the same case and all inside my own head.

The other thing is the ‘self’ we are appealing to is not just one single self. It is a whole community of selves all of them contradicting one another. When it comes to handing out forgiveness favors, the big honcho, who will step up to the bar to handle your plea, will always be the Inner Judge, aided and abetted by the Critical Parent. Guess what they are always going to say. NO, of course.

What this means is you are doing battle with your own Ego. The ego is the master of guilt. It exists for and feeds upon that energy, so the more guilt you have, the better. Guilt is like nectar to your ego. No wonder then that the answer is “No.”

So here’s the answer to that conundrum. It’s my secret formula for self forgiveness, if you like, except it’s not so secret really since it is in my Radical Self Forgiveness book, but you may not have a copy on your bookshelf.

In my upcoming Radical Self-Forgiveness workshop, we go into depth on how to apply the formula in any situation where guilt is experienced, but here’s the main principle.

Don’t bother asking your ‘human self’ (ego) for forgiveness by going into your mind with it. Ask your Higher Self instead. This is the self that is still connected to the divine and knows who you are and why you are here in human form. It knows there are no mistakes and that you are perfect the way you are. So it will always say “Yes.” It will always forgive you, no matter what.

The question then remains. How do we do that? The answer is Radical Self-Forgiveness. By using the tools associated with the Radical Self-forgiveness method, we bypass the mind automatically and go straight to the Higher Self. However, we have learned over the years that if you try to do it without using the tools, it doesn’t work. The mind interferes.

Once we recognize that what we see and criticize in others is simply a reflection of what we can’t stand in ourselves, it becomes clear that we are being given an opportunity to heal the split within ourselves. By taking back all our projections and loving the parts of us we had previously hated, we expand into Love for ourselves and return ourselves to wholeness. We also expand our Love and gratitude for those who ‘volunteered’ to show up and mirror our shadow for us. Bear in mind, too that this phenomenon works with groups in exactly the same way as with individuals. It even works with countries. As we saw in Chapter 11, it was highly likely that America went to war with Iraq because Saddam Hussein resonated a huge amount of self-hatred and shame that was in America’s shadow, and he represented the perfect person and country on whom to project it.

Make a list of two people you have disliked and then list each and every quality you saw in them that you found unacceptable. Dig deep and be honest with yourself. Don’t censor your list, even if you think you might be being unfair. Just tune into your own feelings of disapproval in regard to what you see.

      Person 1.                          Person 2.

 _______________        _______________

Now here’s the bit you’re not going to like. Transfer each item on those two lists to the following worksheet.


The qualities, I am now seeing, were being mirrored back to me by those people I found myself judging and am willing to now love and accept as part of me, are:

That sucks, doesn’t it! Nevertheless, it is important to list every quality you saw in the two people and didn’t like, even if some of them feel totally unlike you and, at first sight, you feel unable to own them. They may be highly symbolic of something in your shadow that is hard to identify, or be representative of some other quality that your subconscious mind links to the one listed, but several times removed.

The good news is that you don’t have to know what these qualities symbolize or represent. It is simply a matter of accepting the principle, “If You Spot It, You Got It.” In other words, if you see it in someone else and it upsets you, then it’s yours. There are no exceptions to this rule.

The more what you see ‘out there’ upsets you, the more vital it is that you love and accept it within you. Resist the temptation to continue judging those qualities as ‘bad’ and criticizing yourself for having them. Doing that simply strengthens the shadow and increases your inner-directed shame. The only way to dissolve the energy it is to love it just the way it is. Also, just as we said that in order to take the power away from core-negative beliefs, it was essential to love ourselves for having the beliefs, it is every bit as important to love ourselves for having these qualities. They are who we are, at least for now. This is simply another way to expand into Love.

Subsequent Action
While looking at the list of qualities you have recognized as being the parts of you that you had previously denied, repressed and projected onto a lot of people, read the following statements out loud, slowly and deliberately, making sure you get the full meaning of the statement.

  1. I now see that all these people have been mirroring for me the parts of myself I have made wrong and have judged, denied, repressed and projected onto them. I thank all of them for mirroring those parts of my shadow.
  2. I am now taking back the projections and am now willing to love and accept this part of me. They each are a part of who I am, and I would not be complete without them.
  3. I now realize they are not things to be overcome or gotten rid of. Neither are they obstacles standing in my way of my growth and healing. I love and accept each one just the way it is.
  4. As I become willing to love and accept these parts of me, I trust that whatever caused me to form these shadow aspects, such as lies, misperceptions or the result of being shamed, will dissolve automatically as I come to love them.  
  5. Conversely, I realize that if I continue to judge those parts of myself and resist loving them, they will grow stronger. (What you resist, persists.)
  6. If the underlying belief about one or more is actually ‘true,’ then my acceptance of it as just being who I am will allow me to transform the energy and use the positive power inherent in that part of me to good purpose. (My perfection lies in my imperfection.)
  7. Having brought my shadow aspects to the light, I realize that my Spiritual Intelligence has facilitated every one of these healing opportunities; and I honor and bless all the people on my list for being willing to be healing angels for me.

Signed: __________________________                           

Date: ______________

Posted in Shift in Consiousness | 8 Comments

Terrorists and Self-Acceptance

je-suis-charlieTerrorists and Self-Acceptance
Look at What I Created

What happened in France last week shocked the world. The cold-blooded murders were bad enough, but what really pushed everyone’s buttons was that it was the direct challenge and affront to our values, especially freedom of expression.

(Note: The U.S. limits this more than most. Any American proclaiming “Je suis Charlie,” should realize the U.S. would never have allowed that paper to exist in the first place. That’s probably why they didn’t send someone in high office to participate in the parade of other world leaders.)

But in terms of the pure violence displayed on that day, it was nothing compared to the sickening, ongoing violence, especially against women, that is happening daily in Nigeria, Syria, Iraq, North Korea, and many other parts of the world, almost all of it in the name of some religion or another.  

But consider this. According to the law of cause and effect, it is a spiritual principle that whatever is occurring ‘out there’ is a reflection of what is ‘in here.’ Whatever is showing up in the world is a projection of our own consciousness (beliefs, ideas, attitudes, and prejudices.)

Wow! Look what we created!

Not very pretty, to say the least. But that’s how it is, right now. Accept it.

Feel the pain – OK, but stop judging it. Everything happens for a reason, remember?

Do we know what the reason is? No. Of course, not.

But this much we do know:

The terrorists [our healing angels?] have got our attention. They are showing each one of us what we need to heal in ourselves: e.g. intolerance, violence, control and manipulation, lust for power, manic religiosity, mysogyny, cruelty, hatred, etc., before we can have peace within ourselves and in the world.

So, is action NOT called for? Yes, it is. Absolutely.

Here’s what you need to do if you want to make a difference in whatever is happening that you find upsetting. And it doesn’t matter if it’s a world event or something very local and personal. It’s all the same process – taking back the projection and healing our minds.

Taking back the projection is the easy part. This is done simply by realizing that what you see out there is what you need to love and accept in yourself. You then forgive the ‘mirror’ on that account, using the Radical Forgiveness worksheet.

The real challenge, though is coming to love and accept those aspects of your ‘shadow-stuff’ being mirrored back to you from ‘out there.’

And yes, I did say, loving and accepting. Not rejecting, releasing or any words that typify too many approaches to healing one’s shadow. They don’t work.

Every one of the qualities I listed earlier (intolerance, violence, control and manipulation, lust for power, manic religiosity, misogyny, cruelty, hatred, etc., that the terrorists are mirroring for us, are sustained by a belief, or set of beliefs, of some kind.

For example:   “I will be a victim unless I strike first.” “Other people are responsible for my happiness.” “My religion gives me permission to be immoral and relieves me of responsibility if I believe it is God’s will.” “The world is an unsafe place.” “I have to kill or be killed.” “I have to be violent to get attention.” “Women are less than men,” “Women should be kept in their place;” “Women are dangerous.” “I have to be in control.” “I need to have power over others to feel good about myself.” “It’s not OK to speak the truth.” “My religion is the only religion.” “If I die after killing a lot of people, I will be rewarded in heaven.”

So a good place, to start, is to look at what the ‘mirror’ is showing you – and you can tell what it is by how much judgment (energy) you have around it – and then look inside to see if you have a belief in you that might promote you acting this way yourself.

Even if you cannot be specific, just focus on the ‘mirror’ (terrorists) and all that it represents. Then pray, meditate or do a Self-Acceptance worksheet for help in coming to love yourself for having these beliefs, as well as loving and accepting the beliefs that underly the behavior.

You have to love them as part of who you have been up to now, and be open to the possibility that they have served you in some way. Love them for what they have done for you, even if you can’t see it.

I know. It’s totally counterintuitive, isn’t it? Love my violent streak? My mysogynistic ideas? The part of me that can be cruel? Love them? You must be kidding!

I’m not kidding. It is the only way, I promise. I’m sure you have heard “what you resist, persists, right?”  If you resist the energy by trying to release it from a place of judgment, it will only become stronger.  You have to love them. Only then will they lose their power.

So, I hope you can now see that to ask “How do I get rid of these beliefs?” is to ask the wrong question.  The real question is, “How can I get to a point where I can lovingly accept my belief, and love myself completely for having it, so I can let it dissolve naturally?” 

Beliefs are not just benign things that exist as connections in the brain which can be turned off just like that.  They exist as an integral part of your Self. 

That means, if you make the beliefs wrong and try to get rid of them, you are actually attacking and undermining your own Self.  You will fight that tooth and nail, of course. You might even start a war over it!

This is why we need Radical Self-Empowerment as a resource to help us get there. It’s actually a fusion of Radical Self-Forgiveness and Radical Self-Acceptance; in essence, self-love. Along with other worksheets, you can download one for free from this website in the Free Stuff section of Colin’s Cafe.

On the free combination Self-Forgiveness/Self-Acceptance worksheet, it suggests you use all those ‘mirrors’ in your life to identify all your subconscious beliefs that you hate to own.

Then, to go through them to see how you might have been shamed by someone into thinking you were that.

If that is the grounds on which you formed that idea about yourself, it will fall away upon that realization. (You might also need to do a Radical Forgiveness worksheet on the person who shamed you.)

Second, see which of those qualities you are willing to own and love, even if they are true and reflective of who you are today. No judgment is allowed.

Self-acceptance is all about loving you just the way you are. The goal is to come to the full realization that your perfection lies in your imperfection.

I’m not OK;

You’re not OK.

But that’s perfectly OK. That’s how it’s meant to be.

Posted in Current Events | 28 Comments

Every Man with an Armored Heart Needs to Read this Book

9780982179062-cover.inddEvery Man with an Armored Heart Needs to Read this Book
(A Pre-Publication Offer)

It’s not exactly your “50 Shades” of anything you might want to picture in your mind. But, not to worry. The guys who came together to form a group for male healers and joint authored this book, hold nothing back.

It is a juicy, no-holds-barred, ‘tell-all’ account of the discussions and intense story-busting sessions that occurred during each weekend they met – four times a year for 20 years.  

Yes, I am one of the founding members of this group. Just like the others I tell my story here in this book, what it did for me and why I kept going in spite of the resistance I felt prior to attending every session. I had a fear of powerful men so it was scary for me. (There were some very powerful men in the group.)  

I can tell you from my heart that I very much doubt I would be doing the work I am doing today if I had not stuck with it year in year out, in spite of that fear. I never missed one.  

As you will learn when you read my chapter in Part 2 where we each share our recollections of what took place, I did eventually find my power and have not looked back since. It was not their power I was frightened of. It was my own.  

Our goal was to strip the armor from our own hearts, expose what lurked in the darkest, deepest parts of our subconscious and conscious minds and then, over time, to dismantle our over-sized, testosterone driven, disruptive egos.  

Our sexuality and how it played out in our healing work was a big topic and there was much to be resolved in that area.  

Looking back to where we started with this and to where we each stand now, the underlying purpose was actually to become better healers, to be more of service to others and construct a better life for ourselves, at all levels. Emotional, physical and spiritual. I believe we have all achieved this.  

It has been a tough road. But the payoff has been incredible. We still meet twice a year, but it is easy now. No need for heavy duty processing. Just some checking in and giving and receiving support. We experience it now as a sharing of unity and joy.  

This book is our individual accounts of that journey and what it has meant to each man. More important, though, is what it might mean to YOU if you were to follow the same road.  

That is, in fact, the purpose of this book. The only reason we decided to write it at all, and commit to telling the whole truth at some risk to our reputations possibly, was to inspire other men to form groups like it. It was such a transformative experience for all of us that we felt compelled to share it with other men and give them something to emulate.  

There is no doubt that there are millions of men who are in a great deal of emotional and spiritual pain. Their hearts are covered in armor just like the image on the front cover of the book.  

Most of them don’t even know it. But their partners know. They can feel it. That’s why women should read this book, too.  

They can do for their men what JoAnn did for me. She gave me 100% support to push through my resistance so I would get my sorry ass to every meeting. Had it not been for her, I would have found a way to back out and would have missed my opportunity.  

Men need this. And they need it badly. A mixed group doesn’t work the same. Men need to confront each other and be vulnerable in a way they cannot when women are around.  

They need to get out of their heads and into their hearts. They need their egos busted. And it’s not about drinking beer and watching the game, either. Absolutely not. It’s about serious work as you will see when you read this book.  

So, if you are a man who wants to become more powerful by learning how to find the power that comes from being open and vulnerable as opposed to being protective and closed, read this book.  

If you are already in a men’s group of some kind and would like to suggest to your members that they might take it to a new level, give them a copy of this book.  

If nothing else, it could be the focus of a very interesting discussion. You just don’t know where it might lead.  

If you are a male healer of any kind, this book should be on your ‘must read list.’ It’s very much about you as you will see.  

You will be a much better healer for reading it. There will be some warning signs in there for you too, so don’t pass on this book.  

Women who seek counseling or therapy from male healers will learn a lot about themselves as well, if they read this book. Seduction and a women’s need for approval is a big part of the discussion about the risks in being a male healer.  

So, let’s cut to the chase. What will it cost and how can I get it?  

Well, the book isn’t out quite yet. Our official publication date is January 15th. The price will be $19.95 + shipping.  

However, let me make you a deal.  

Pre-order the book within the next 72 hours and you can have it for just $11.95. Shipped on or about the 15th.  

You’ll save $8, which is the equivalent of a 40% discount, just for being early. Not bad, eh?  

Not only that, I’ll send you a free report and a questionnaire that will allow you to establish your sexual personality.  

It is a subject that is addressed a lot in the book so you will have a head start on this aspect if you do it before reading the book. 

 It will be especially helpful to have your partner do it as well.  You’ll get some really good insights about your relationship with this.  

Even if you are not in relationship at this time, you can use it to arrive at a guesstimate of the sexual personality of the partner in a previous relationship.  It might tell you a whole lot.

So just click here or hit the Buy Now Button and get ready to be entertained when the book arrives at your doorstep.

Talk Soon,


P.S. This book will teach you a lot about yourself and why being in a men’s group that’s committed to your healing is so empowering.  

Don’t let this one get away.


Posted in Relationships | 1 Comment

What’s New in 2015

What’s New in 2015

Good morningHappy-New-Year-2015-Tree or good afternoon, whichever it is for you. Actually, I’m thinking you might not be in any fit condition to read this right away. It is, after all, the day after New Year’s Eve!

But, please, DON’T DELETE IT - even if you don’t feel like bothering with it right now.

You’re gonna want to know about this, believe me.

[By the way, I hope you had a really good time. We did. We went to 2 parties, fireworks and all that. A lot of fun.]

Anyway, that said, if you do still feel a little under the weather, mark this e-mail as UNREAD.

Come back to it when you are ready to get really excited about what I’m getting ready to tell about what’s coming up NEW in 2015.

[It’s a lot. We are really going for it this coming year, like never before.]

On the other hand if you’re definitely up to it, and already salivating, read on.

I think I’d like to share our vision and goals for 2015 first.

Then I’ll come back and tell you about all the events we have scheduled that will empower your resolutions.

But, you know, while I’m on that topic I have to say this:

Speaking or writing your resolutions will whither and die unless you TAKE ACTION on them right away.

After I’ve told you my vision for 2015, I’ll show you how you might do it that.

So Here’s our Vision for 2015

As we have been doing for the last three years, we shall continue to spend the Summer months (June to November) living and working in Europe.

We have purchased a flat in England, which makes things easier.

I also get to visit my three kids and 10 grandchildren, so that’s nice.

For the last three years I have taught a 9-day ‘Spirituality in Business’ course to Swiss business owners, managers, and entrepreneurs.

So, I feel very qualified to offer my expertise in this area to businesses in the U.S. and U.K. beginning in 2015.

My specialism will be working with family businesses that are failing or in trouble because of family issues getting enmeshed with business issues.

I will use my expertise and skill with Radical Forgiveness and Reconciliation to discover the underlying issues within the family, untangle them from the business and do what I can to heal them.

The purpose is to save the company and put it back on its feet with everyone happy.

With this and other offerings I’ll explain in a second, you can see I am up leveling my game and expanding the reach of Radical Forgiveness.

All this and more is explained on my new ColinTipping .com website.

OK, Now let me share my goals for 2015 so you know what to expect to see showing up in the next few months.

  1. To complete a total makeover of the website by mid-January. (In process.)
  1. To complete a makeover of the website by the end of January. (Also in the process.)
  1. To have a new book out early in January entitled “Wounded Healers.”

It’s a tell-all book written by six of the founding members of the men’s group I have been a member of for 20 years.

Each of the six, (me included), reflect on the work they did over the years on the four weekends per year that they got together and processed each other. It is VERY revealing.

  1. To write a book that delves into past lives, life, death and the afterlife.

In this book, I will pose the questions that I and others wrestle with. I’ll then ask people I know who have personal experience of such things to provide answers I can accept.

  1. To create a much needed, in-depth course entitled, Magnetic Marketing for Healers and Alternative Health Practitioners.

Most people doing this kind of work have no idea how to market themselves successfully and make money.

If you are in that line of work and you are not making a decent living doing what you love to do – watch this space.

OK. That’s what my future looks like. Now let’s consider yours.

Let’s look at how you might take immediate action on your resolutions so they actually stick.

For instance, suppose you have a New Year resolution such as, ‘To love and nurture myself more this year.’  

Well, you could empower that decision by booking a spot in one of our upcoming workshops.

Let me list the workshops for you

- First up is the NEW Radical Self-Forgiveness/Self-Acceptance Workshop – March 13th – 15. A great way to raise your self-esteem and love yourself more. There is an Early Bird Special of $100 off if booked by February 13th.

- We have a ‘Miracles’ Workshop scheduled for May 8th – 10th. This is very powerful and is limited to 12 people. [Sorry, the January one is now fully booked.]

- The Power of Radical Forgiveness Workshop. Facilitated by Shari Claire. She has done this one many times. April 24th – 26th.

- How about gifting yourself a Healing Vacation to Lima, Peru. Besides doing a tour to special spiritual sites, you could participate in the special Magic of Radical Forgiveness Workshop JoAnn and I are doing in Lima. April 10th – 12th.

And hey, if your New Years Resolution is around making a decision on whether to stay in a relationship or leave, you should definitely plan to attend the following.

- “Make It or Break It,” A ‘Couples-in-Crisis’ Clinic for between 2 and 4 couples. May 15th – 17th. with follow-up coaching sessions for 3 months. Very intense.

But by the end you will know what you have to do.

How about living your purpose? Is that a resolution on your list of dreams. Helping others?

If so, you might consider becoming a Radical Living Coach. Our online program is perfect for that.

But here’s what’s NEW and really exciting if you are ready to do something radical.

A 10-day live, intensive training to become a certified Radical Living Coach, with me teaching you in a small group setting, This will be followed up with you getting your Master Coach certification by completing the online course.

May 25th – June 4th in Atlanta and August 30th – September 8th in UK.

My personal preference is always to do a live course over home study. I’m too inclined to procrastinate and I get diverted.

I also like the personal interaction with the trainer. You too?

It costs a lot more than doing it online, but we get to work together personally and you will be in a position to earn your investment back very quickly after becoming certified.

I did this training with a group of 35 in Russia last year and plan to do the same again this coming year.

So there you have it. And this is only for the first quarter of 2015. We have lots planned for Germany, England, Switzerland and Russia over the summer and we are already looking at 2016. Hang in with us and enjoy the ride.

And best wishes for a great new year from the team: Colin, JoAnn, Shari, Karla and David.

Talk soon

Posted in Events | Comments Off

How to Beat the Holiday Blues

Christmas-holidays-in-mexicoHow to Beat the Holiday Blues

For more people than the Hallmark Card industry likes to acknowledge, Christmas day and Valentine’s day have one thing in common: An increased feeling of loneliness arising immediately afterwards.

The industry starts revving up for Christmas in early October. The promise is that happiness will prevail for all as we exchange presents and, with plenty of food and drink on hand, enjoy festive togetherness in a pleasant and supportive atmosphere.

But more often than we like to admit, when it’s all over we are left feeling more alone and disconnected than before. For those without any family with whom to connect, the feeling of loneliness is amplified many times over.

(By the way, before you write to tell me I am being non-inclusive, I have no experience of holidays other than Christmas, so I am restricting my comments to that which I know.)

While it is popularly held that that the suicide rate goes up immediately after Christmas, the truth is otherwise. Nevertheless, the very fact that the myth prevails is an indication of how Christmas is perceived as being both stressful and, for some, a somewhat depressing experience.

Valentine’s Day is nothing like as bad as Christmas in this respect. Nevertheless, if you are a person who has little or no genuine love coming your way, or have no expectation of there being any romance in your life, then Valentine’s day is just another reminder of how alone and unloved you feel. The Valentine’s Day card given you out of a sense of obligation only makes it worse, even if it comes with a dozen roses. You know if it’s real or not.

That said, though, why not look at Valentine’s day as a wake-up call. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, how about going inside and asking yourself why you don’t have the love in your life that you want? Is it that you don’t love yourself and that this is being reflected?  It’s hard for people to love you if you don’t love yourself.

What if you are in a relationship that has gone flat and needed a turbo-charge or a makeover? What can you do? Well, the first thing is to make a realistic assessment of your relationship as it is now. If it’s worth saving, put some energy into making something happen to make it better. If not, then find the best way to leave and move on. If there is still some life remaining in the relationship, then re-negotiate the terms of it and make it new. I will be teaching people how to do all of this on the Valentines Day Cruise. (As well as giving a seminar I will be offering private sessions.)

If you don’t have a partner and feel the desire to have one, put some energy into manifesting the perfect partner. If your last relationship failed and you are alone, analyze why it didn’t work and then make sure you don’t repeat the same mistakes again next time. (I have a list of common mistakes I can share with you.)

Make sure you do the forgiveness work and clear out the old energy before you set about creating a new one. Otherwise, you will take it with you into the new relationship. Before you even start the manifestation process, define your boundaries, establish your values and be clear about who you are, what you want and, just as important, what you don’t want. This is also a topic for the Valentine’s Day Cruise.

This coming Christmas JoAnn and I will do what we normally do. As a way of expressing my love for JoAnn and to celebrate our 24 year relationship, I will create the most delicious roast dinner for her and myself, along with all the trimmings and a nice glass of wine. Then we will go to the movies. We will not be alone. There will be plenty of others there doing the same, but for reasons known only to themselves. I hope it’s not because they are lonely.

Posted in Events | Comments Off

Blowing Your Own Horn Isn’t Easy

blow-your-own-hornBlowing Your Own Horn Isn’t Easy

Growing up, I was always taught to be modest and not to be seen blowing my own trumpet. (That’s the English version, but it’s the same. It’s a horn.) To this day I find it difficult to write sales copy for my own products and I’m even more reticent about promoting myself on video.

That’s why I was so happy and relieved to watch and listen to Kym Kennedy doing a fantastic job during an extended interview on TV, explaining and extolling the value of Radical Forgiveness to her host. It was terrific.

Kym is one of our senior Radical Forgiveness Coaches and I can’t tell you how proud I am of her, not to mention how grateful I am for her tooting the horn about Radical Forgiveness.

As you have probably found out when trying to explain, even to friends and family, the concept of Radical Forgiveness and how it works, it is very difficult. It cannot be done in just a few seconds, nor even in a few minutes. You need some time to allow people to adjust their mental framework about reality before you even begin to break through their resistance to a concept which is, to the mind anyway, little short of crazy.

Watch Kym do it eloquently and smoothly. I know you will enjoy it. And if you have some skepticism or some gaps in your understanding about Radical Forgiveness, she will fill it in for you. Enjoy.

Posted in Tools | 3 Comments