I’d like to add one more thing to the debate, though, which is somewhat peripheral to the gay marriage issue but is often  implied in discussions like this.  It is, that while I have no objection to people choosing to have their personal morality prescribed by a religious authority, I do have a real problem with the idea that religious beliefs and morality are the same.    This implies that people without religious beliefs have no access to moral reasoning and have no true moral compass.

On the contrary, I think that to rely purely on some religious text for one’s guidance on how to live a good life is to abrogate moral responsibility.  Morality does not come from religion.  Morality is derived from ethics which are immutable agreements about how we should treat each other.  Those agreements have been crafted by intelligent human beings over centuries of evolution according to certain principles like fairness, tolerance, humility, respect, honesty, integrity, forgiveness, etc., and on spiritual values like compassion and love.   Some religious have co-opted these principles into their teachings, but the ethical principles came first, not the other way around. We don’t need religion to teach us those principles.

Moreover, if we rely too much on religious teachings, we fail to develop a strong ethical and moral self.  In fact, religious beliefs are often cited as a justification for acting in ways that are anything but moral or ethical.  9/11 is a case in point.  The last words the guys flying those planes screamed was, “God is Great.”

That’s an extreme case, I know, but in essence it’s no different to denying happiness to a group of people on the basis of a belief prescribed by others who claim some moral authority over everyone else.  It is no different to a group of people in Africa deciding that their religion justifies female circumcision and that one cannot create a law against it for that reason.  A lot of immoral behavior becomes protected, even by law, if it is claimed to be part of one’s religious belief.  And that is the road that the States are taking in deciding to ban gay marriage on religious grounds even though it goes against more than a few ethical principles.

Real moral dilemmas have at their core the question of who gets hurt?  Abortion, for example, is a very contentious moral debate because, either way, there is a party who gets hurt — the fetus if you do it, and the mother who is forced to go to term when that is not her choice or in her best interest, if you don’t.   So, people legitimately take positions on the issue and do their best to argue it out.  That’s true moral discourse.

Making same sex marriage legal would hurt no one. Therefore it doesn’t count as a moral issue in my mind.  The only thing it asks us to do is to overcome our natural resistance to the idea that the term marriage might be applied to anyone regardless of gender.  The extent of our pain around it amounts to nothing more than our being willing to give up a long-held habit of mind.  That’s not moral discourse.  It is rigidity of mind and a lack of compassion.

Who would deny that slavery was the result of a long-held habit of mind among white Americans—that the negro race was inferior and sub-human and that they could legitimately be bought and sold as slaves?  Look how long that habit of mind endured, not just by a few bad people but by the vast majority, at least in the south.  Same thing with the Germans agreeing to exterminate the Jews.  How long would that have endured had the Germans won the war?

I have to ask my African American brothers and sisters who voted to ban same sex marriage on the grounds of what is in the Bible, if they were to find a reference in the Bible (written many hundreds of years ago and translated many times since it was written), that slavery is justifiable, would they be willing to be enslaved again on those grounds alone?  I doubt it.  Then why deny homosexuals the freedom that your ancestors fought so bravely for and that you enjoy today, simply because of what you read in the Bible?  Jesus taught us to love and accept each other, not to hurt others in defense of our own righteousness.

Today, when we look back at how we justified 200 years of slavery and Jim Crow discrimination against blacks, we are all deeply ashamed.  We cannot imagine, today, how people could have thought that that was OK.  I believe the children and grandchildren of all the people who have voted to ban gay marriage in all the states that have done so up to now, thereby depriving gay people of their civil rights and their freedom to be who they are, will carry the burden of shame on behalf of their parents in much the same way for many years to come.

But then, insofar as you are able to achieve peace and harmony within by doing the Radical Forgiveness worksheet, the tables will automatically be turned.  Rather than returning the attack with an attack as a way to get even, you will get your revenge by sending back love and gratitude.  Since Love is the most powerful force in the Universe nothing can resist it.  Can their be a sweeter revenge than by using the event as an opportunity to turn hatred into Love?  I don’t think so.  But don’t take my word for it.  Go online and do the free online Radical Forgiveness worksheet and see if it works for you.  Then you might have one resolution you can cross off the list for next year.

Yes, that can seem disappointing, for who does not want to see their kids flourish in the years ahead.  But our fixation on getting ahead, doing better, moving up and making more money as being the basis of the dream may have reached its limit, like when the pendulum stops before starting to swing the other way.

So, instead of just wishing for a better life for our kids in those same terms, how about wishing for a better quality of life in terms of it having it carry real meaning and spiritual purpose.  How about holding a vision for a life in America where everyone feels happy, safe and secure, where people take care of each other, support each other and love one another; where people live in harmony and peace instead of fear and aggression which is what we have now, and what they will have in the future if we don’t begin to change our consciousness now.

This is the vision I’m holding for 2012 and beyond.  As you may know my mission statement for many years has been, “to raise the consciousness of the planet through Radical Forgiveness and to create a world of forgiveness by 2012.”  I still believe the pendulum has a few degrees more to move through its arc before its begins to shift the other way.  When it does, we will wake up to a new reality and a much better dream than the false one that has brought us nicely to this point.  Whether it happens in 2012 or not doesn’t matter.  I am still holding the vision and I know a great many of you are too.  We feel it in our bones and we will be there when the pendulum comes to the end of its swing and starts going the other way. Then heaven on earth will be the dream we can all live.

That’s I mean when I say to you now, “Happy New Year.”  That’s what I shall be raising my glass to on New’s Years Eve — the birth of a new consciousness of Love, Peace and Harmony.