This strategy is the one to use if you and someone else have had a falling out and yet now have an intention to come back together again and heal the relationship. Watch the video to learn more, or scroll down to read the script.
The Radical Reconciliation Worksheet
Reconciliation is not the same as forgiveness. With forgiveness the only one involved is the forgiver. We do it for ourselves only and we do it irrespective of whether the perpetrator shows any kind of remorse or offers an apology.
With reconciliation, on the other hand, both victim and perpetrator are involved, and both parties must have an intention to reconcile. And both need to recognize that an injury ocurred to one or both of them and they should both have a desire to heal the wound and repair the relationship. There has to be give and take between them. Forgiveness may well be part of the process and will perhaps be required before the process of reconciliation can even begin.
However, Radical Reconciliation as a process or strategy is more than just a form of mediation. The conversation between the parties may begin that way but they will need to have in mind the spiritual dimension to it as well. This means reframing the relationship in spiritual terms so they can appreciate the spiritual purpose for them coming together in the first place. The reframe would also contain elements of Radical Forgiveness as well. You’ll see what I mean when you read the suggested reframe statement that occurs towards the end of the Radical Reconciliation Worksheet.
So what happens if your partner is not familiar with The Tipping Method and Radical Forgiveness in particular? Well, obviously it will work best if both of you are familiar with it, but it is not essential. If you are the ‘injured party,’ (should that apply), and you do the Radical Forgiveness work first, and have the bigger picture in mind during the reconciliation process, I think that would work. With the exception of the aforementioned reframe statement, the Radical Reconciliation worksheet supplied is largely non-spiritual in its orientation, anyway, so it is unlikely to be a barrier for someone not familiar with the philosophy. If your partner is the aggrieved party and does not wish to do the Radical Forgiveness work then it would be more difficult, obviously.
If you find yourself in need of using this particular worksheet, I hope you will find it helpful.